12-03-2018, 01:14 AM
(12-02-2018, 05:18 PM)Shannon Wrote: Ask yourself this.
If your mother abandoned you earlier in life, and she hasn't changed... did she ever not? Are you afraid of losing something you never actually had? Hmmm.
You can't change her, and expecting her to change is folly. So change what and who you can: yourself and your circumstances.
It sounds to me like your fears are based on a false premise, because
A) it sounds like she never was what you are trying not to lose, and
B) you can provide for yourself in any and all ways you are trying to be provided for by her.
I'm grateful I was on E2 recently, as I remembered what I believe came from Overcome the Victim Mentality, which is in E2. Looking over the script, it pulls me away from victim thinking, but the latter part instructs me to take responsibility for my own life. I remember feeling empowered and motivated to make my own choices, to choose for myself what I wanted to do. With that training, I was motivated each day to look for things and experiences which I really wanted to do.
This was different than how I'd thought and behaved before, seeking other's permission and approval all the time.
I'm not wishing to keep that mentality. I know it well, and I look forward to E3 (or LTU) to live a different life. For yes, my mother never really gave me what I sought.
I want to be FREE!
