12-02-2018, 06:35 AM
Yeah, Mat, those fears really speak up at times. Knowing it'll become less and less is encouraging.
I'm seeking to do some things differently this weekend, while noticing me fighting it some, out of fear. However, this is nothing new, so panic is not on the table. The FRM is picking at things one day at a time.
Here was something different. I talked on the phone with my ex for over an hour this morning. She requested child support early, and I'm able to do so, so I'd begun the interaction. Throughout our convo, she said one thing which makes me feel good. We were talking about cooking, and she made a clear comment. She'd been married before we got together, and the ex's mom she'd bonded with well, teaching her some recipes she still uses. She said if she could have her way, she'd still be married to me, but have his mother.
Lots of thoughts and feelings there. .......... It's not a "problem" at all. I want, and am afraid.
It also makes me think of a quote from "Taxi Driver Wisdom". It was something like this:
"Men don't choose to marry the person they love. They marry the person who loves them".
It just feels true. I am open to different thoughts on this, and encourage it. This book I've had since our honeymoon, and some things make me think. I'd not agreed fully with that thought many times, but after our discussion this morning, I feel differently.
Maybe I'm just.....normal
I'm seeking to do some things differently this weekend, while noticing me fighting it some, out of fear. However, this is nothing new, so panic is not on the table. The FRM is picking at things one day at a time.
Here was something different. I talked on the phone with my ex for over an hour this morning. She requested child support early, and I'm able to do so, so I'd begun the interaction. Throughout our convo, she said one thing which makes me feel good. We were talking about cooking, and she made a clear comment. She'd been married before we got together, and the ex's mom she'd bonded with well, teaching her some recipes she still uses. She said if she could have her way, she'd still be married to me, but have his mother.
Lots of thoughts and feelings there. .......... It's not a "problem" at all. I want, and am afraid.
It also makes me think of a quote from "Taxi Driver Wisdom". It was something like this:
"Men don't choose to marry the person they love. They marry the person who loves them".
It just feels true. I am open to different thoughts on this, and encourage it. This book I've had since our honeymoon, and some things make me think. I'd not agreed fully with that thought many times, but after our discussion this morning, I feel differently.
Maybe I'm just.....normal
I want to be FREE!
