Edit: 2nd day of break.
I am feeling a lot right now. I woke up, considered coffee, almost poured it, but stopped knowing this pain wouldn't go away. I use coffee mostly as a distractant.
I got in my shower, and felt dizzy almost, but not from subs. I'm just not "with it", though I need to leave for work soon. I realize my attention is ......scattered. I'm eating now, but inwardly I'm avoiding this, avoiding that...anything which connects to my memories and emotions. It was the same in the shower.
One sentence sums it up, a fear.........tears now.
"If I try and fail, you'll leave me."
This was part of what happened with my brother. I never knew why.
I am feeling a lot right now. I woke up, considered coffee, almost poured it, but stopped knowing this pain wouldn't go away. I use coffee mostly as a distractant.
I got in my shower, and felt dizzy almost, but not from subs. I'm just not "with it", though I need to leave for work soon. I realize my attention is ......scattered. I'm eating now, but inwardly I'm avoiding this, avoiding that...anything which connects to my memories and emotions. It was the same in the shower.
One sentence sums it up, a fear.........tears now.
"If I try and fail, you'll leave me."
This was part of what happened with my brother. I never knew why.
I want to be FREE!
