11-26-2018, 03:21 PM
What a day. Really, I was moved to tears 3 times in the last 2 hours. Something is happening.
First off, I began my day with a commitment in my head I could and would look for opportunities to give. But this was different in my planning, as I realized touch was important this time. I work with a Haitian man sometimes, and I followed one coworker's example of shaking his hand in the morning, plus giving him fistbumps throughout the day as we worked.
I let my regular coworker take the easy job for the day since I'd done it twice last week, which was picking up items for customers around the city. He came back late in the day, tried a criticism maneuver, but I chose to ignore it, even turning my head away to not let it run wild in my memory. We talked before leaving, and he seemed safer talking to me. Maybe I just wasn't afraid (?)
But I'd felt really productive, seeking more opportunities to pay attention to people. I felt I was nicer to him, in fact.
I got off work, and had to go to 2 different stores. At the first store, I got my stuff, got in line, and asked the older lady cashier a purposeful, meaningful question: "how are you today?" I mentioned the previous weekend, and she had worked this weekend, admitting some fatigue. She then asked me "how are you?" I said "I'm good cuz I'm off work now!" She shared she had 6 hours left before leaving, and I felt her pain. She returned a sweet smile, and ushered me out of line sweetly and proudly since she had customers lining up now. It felt good. I felt good giving.
I went to Walmart, and I felt soft as soon as I saw the gentle Walmart greeter, an older lady. I began choking up there. And like in the first store, I had a similar interaction there with an older servicewoman since I had to go to customer service to pick up something. I felt good.
I was on my scooter, and I next had to go to my bank. When I was leaving the bank, a young girl (6-7) was in the passenger seat of a car waiting for me to pass. I usually think my eyes and expression can not be read while I'm wearing my helmet, but I kept eye contact, nodded my head, and smiled at the young girl as I rode by. Her face registered she got it. Her smile was BIG.
I bought pens and tape at the first store, and got cash and a Dunkin Donuts gift card at Walmart. All for my daughter. I'm going to send her a hand written note, though I'm uncertain what I'll say. I'd read Shannon's response at lunch, and I wish to connect with my daughter.
One more thing about my daughter, or children. Before I left this morning, I was listening to 80's rock on Pandora. No kidding, 30 seconds before I left my place, White Lion's "When the Children Cry" came on. I knew it was important, so I paused it and googled the song. I then left for work. When I got home, I put my stuff away, and sat down to write this. But I listened to the video before writing here, and I cried. In fact, in one shot he's lying on his back with his child on his chest. I wept. Other childhood scenes happen in it, so I'm going to leave it here.
Something in me changed today.
First off, I began my day with a commitment in my head I could and would look for opportunities to give. But this was different in my planning, as I realized touch was important this time. I work with a Haitian man sometimes, and I followed one coworker's example of shaking his hand in the morning, plus giving him fistbumps throughout the day as we worked.
I let my regular coworker take the easy job for the day since I'd done it twice last week, which was picking up items for customers around the city. He came back late in the day, tried a criticism maneuver, but I chose to ignore it, even turning my head away to not let it run wild in my memory. We talked before leaving, and he seemed safer talking to me. Maybe I just wasn't afraid (?)
But I'd felt really productive, seeking more opportunities to pay attention to people. I felt I was nicer to him, in fact.
I got off work, and had to go to 2 different stores. At the first store, I got my stuff, got in line, and asked the older lady cashier a purposeful, meaningful question: "how are you today?" I mentioned the previous weekend, and she had worked this weekend, admitting some fatigue. She then asked me "how are you?" I said "I'm good cuz I'm off work now!" She shared she had 6 hours left before leaving, and I felt her pain. She returned a sweet smile, and ushered me out of line sweetly and proudly since she had customers lining up now. It felt good. I felt good giving.
I went to Walmart, and I felt soft as soon as I saw the gentle Walmart greeter, an older lady. I began choking up there. And like in the first store, I had a similar interaction there with an older servicewoman since I had to go to customer service to pick up something. I felt good.
I was on my scooter, and I next had to go to my bank. When I was leaving the bank, a young girl (6-7) was in the passenger seat of a car waiting for me to pass. I usually think my eyes and expression can not be read while I'm wearing my helmet, but I kept eye contact, nodded my head, and smiled at the young girl as I rode by. Her face registered she got it. Her smile was BIG.
I bought pens and tape at the first store, and got cash and a Dunkin Donuts gift card at Walmart. All for my daughter. I'm going to send her a hand written note, though I'm uncertain what I'll say. I'd read Shannon's response at lunch, and I wish to connect with my daughter.
One more thing about my daughter, or children. Before I left this morning, I was listening to 80's rock on Pandora. No kidding, 30 seconds before I left my place, White Lion's "When the Children Cry" came on. I knew it was important, so I paused it and googled the song. I then left for work. When I got home, I put my stuff away, and sat down to write this. But I listened to the video before writing here, and I cried. In fact, in one shot he's lying on his back with his child on his chest. I wept. Other childhood scenes happen in it, so I'm going to leave it here.
Something in me changed today.
I want to be FREE!
