11-20-2018, 03:44 AM
Well after 5 years of listening to the ocean I'm definitely not going to stop now - I'm going to find out what's on the other side, and the real thing that is freaking me out is that I'm starting to see it.
If I could just offer a couple of things I've actually noticed.
Outside of things which could be classed as resistance, there's another thing happening, I get subtle experiences of fearlessness where in its place I experience something approaching wonder, deep gratitude, fascination and the desire for creative exploration - however, the language I use on a day to day basis is so filled with fear based that I find myself going back to fear based communication just because I don't quite have the language of a non fear based paradigm.
Example, I was talking to my girlfriend about some people we were going to hang out with, and I caught myself about to define something as potentially embarrassing. I realised that I wouldn't really find it embarrassing but was going to say it anyway since it was habit - the mere act of being about to define something as embarrassing was calling up a fear based paradigm and the feelings associated. It was like language creating the state rather than the state being defined in language.
What I'm saying is that speech seems to impact my state a lot - if there isn't already, I wonder if something in the sub to support me in being more conscious honest in my speech would also be beneficial to to everyone in reaching the goals of the sub.
If I could just offer a couple of things I've actually noticed.
Outside of things which could be classed as resistance, there's another thing happening, I get subtle experiences of fearlessness where in its place I experience something approaching wonder, deep gratitude, fascination and the desire for creative exploration - however, the language I use on a day to day basis is so filled with fear based that I find myself going back to fear based communication just because I don't quite have the language of a non fear based paradigm.
Example, I was talking to my girlfriend about some people we were going to hang out with, and I caught myself about to define something as potentially embarrassing. I realised that I wouldn't really find it embarrassing but was going to say it anyway since it was habit - the mere act of being about to define something as embarrassing was calling up a fear based paradigm and the feelings associated. It was like language creating the state rather than the state being defined in language.
What I'm saying is that speech seems to impact my state a lot - if there isn't already, I wonder if something in the sub to support me in being more conscious honest in my speech would also be beneficial to to everyone in reaching the goals of the sub.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
