Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Interesting. I am using USLM and i thought i never had any fear until a recent discussion with Shannon that got me thinking. Now you are writing this i observed from myself that i didnt have any mood to work or to work out for that matter and i spent 1.5 day eating ice cream and pizza. I never thought that it could be my subconcious projecting fear. Now i am even more troubled

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I am kind of in the same boat of being more troubled. Since my last post I have had about 3 more incidences of my mind being dominated by fear. Two of them I wasn't clear about what caused it but one of them I am sure was DMSI 3.3. I say that because I was thinking about it at the time and my fear levels just rose to stupid high levels aka I was having shallow breathing and thoughts of "I don't want to run it". This is quite similar to some incidences that happened before 3.2 was released. I am wondering if it is a case of the subconscious being afraid of the fear removal module removing the actual fear then maybe the resulting executing of the program.

Either way, I can't let this go on. I need to get out of here within months if possible so I can get to a country I can be more interested in and perhaps execute DMSI more freely in the future. I was on a break till 3.3 came out but with what is happening I think I'm going to run UM/OP now. Funny thing is when I think about it the high degree of motivation and such I had the first week I started my program might have been TID from running UM/OP. I kept on wondering where I was finding all this motivation from. Guess I have my answer now. Thing is I'm not sure what I'm going to do later though. On the one hand I do want to run 3.3 but on the other hand do to me wanting to get out of the country as soon as possible and start making money to prepare to retire within 2-3 years or at least own a sustainable business within the Philippines. With that last objective LTU would seem to be the best choice. Not to mention I have to admit I am just not satisfied with how my life is and i definitely need to change how things are. I also need to get out of this toxic environment so it doesn't cause me to not execute any subs goals.

Actually after thinking about it right now I am going to just run UM/OP for a while then switch to 3.3 when it comes out. I will see how I'm doing on my courses, then if I'm doing well switching to 3.3 shouldn't be a issue. I remember that Shannon said that as we get closer to final people would start making excuses to switch DMSI that would seem like good reasons but in reality are really just running away from executing. I don't want to be one of those people. I'm going to see this through to the end if I have to. Also, it is quite apparent at this point that my subconscious is deathly afraid of 3.3 so the apparent need to run LTU might just be it prompting me to run away. No matter how well reasoned it might seem.