09-09-2018, 05:50 AM
Another change has been happening too. I've spoken about the fronts, the images I've held up, and one I've been hanging onto for a while now is all about making money from home, doing something online.
As I write, part of me still wants to lie and proclaim "I know this" and "I know that". That's not me though. That's fear leading the way. My motivation all these last few years doing this was not about making money. It has always been to have others like me. It's always been that. I thought "if I am successful making money, someone will like me". I've felt like I've been stuck in middle school, seeking to be accepted by "cool" people. I just felt and pictured that in my head. Maybe there's a connection.
I've had no desire to look up opportunities this whole week, though I have been working with my trader. The difference is I've been pretty honest with her, especially while on E2. Having an honest relationship is much different than keeping up a front.
I'll note something to end this. As I've wrote, the fear, which is my norm, is still alive and looking for its place. I'm not fretting about it. E2 has done unexpected and unplanned things, so planning ..........has mostly been fear-based. I'll let it keep working. I'm just looking out for today.
Thank you Shannon for making E2
As I write, part of me still wants to lie and proclaim "I know this" and "I know that". That's not me though. That's fear leading the way. My motivation all these last few years doing this was not about making money. It has always been to have others like me. It's always been that. I thought "if I am successful making money, someone will like me". I've felt like I've been stuck in middle school, seeking to be accepted by "cool" people. I just felt and pictured that in my head. Maybe there's a connection.
I've had no desire to look up opportunities this whole week, though I have been working with my trader. The difference is I've been pretty honest with her, especially while on E2. Having an honest relationship is much different than keeping up a front.
I'll note something to end this. As I've wrote, the fear, which is my norm, is still alive and looking for its place. I'm not fretting about it. E2 has done unexpected and unplanned things, so planning ..........has mostly been fear-based. I'll let it keep working. I'm just looking out for today.
Thank you Shannon for making E2
I want to be FREE!
