DMSI 3.2 Random Musings and Journalings

[Have at ye]

Continuing with ver. A, 9 loops, from Tuesday to Tuesday. During the ASRB break I was feeling kinda shitty most of the time, then it passed. I've been noticing I'm feeling shittier whenever I neglect my shielding regimen, because I get pestering, annoying thoughts regarding various people whenever I don't do it for 3-4 days (and they're, like, really annoying, and fighting them takes up *a lot* of my attention), and when I let them pile up, I start feeling bad about myself. So I'm gonna keep with the shielding regimen until ver. 3.3.

The dumbest thing about the whole deal is that they're usually aimed at me by people I work with or used to hang out with, and I was actually *afraid* and *expecting* that this would happen - people would start making problems for me *because they're envious*. Heh, showbiz. Like, f. in., it turns out that this fairly young conductor with whom I worked on a project recently (and with whom I've worked previously... and who has *never* been such an asshat meanie towards me like he's become this time around - we've had a pretty decent working relationship) is married to, like, designee's "sweet little aristocrat" BFF, and according to what I've learned, tried to bone said designee before getting married and got rebuked hard. And here I was wondering why is he making veiled comments regarding my dealings with said designee, lol, and acting all asshatty and AMOGy alluva sudden.

See, that's the kind of people I have to work with, lol. And they're sending bad mojo my way.

BTW., one more thing I noticed, and a possible reason for why many of my responders go with gaming/playing attempts: they're frickin' jealous. Very, very jealous. This may be a side effect of the "competing for sex" dealio I remember Shannon writing something about in his journal way back, or perhaps it's just how they are. But when I see a married woman, walking with her husband (we've always liked each other with the woman ), give me a panicked/nervous/jealous look - in such a blatant way that her husband *noticed it*, and this woman's got amazing self-control - simply because she sees me hanging out with another woman... not doing anything, just like, walking and talking... well... Yup.

As a woman, I have to say, most women have amazing self control when it comes to sex/whatever. women are not like men in the sense that they easily give in to sexual desires. its is much more important to feel trust, safe and comfortable, than to give in to lust. lust doesn't mean much to a woman when it comes to action taking. the thing that will make a woman take action more, is love or infatuation. and even then, she will not make a move if she has a lot of doubts, or she is unsure. especially if there is a bad consequence. if a woman takes action, she must really really like you. its not just me, i know a lot of women are this way.....they can talk about crushes or whatever to their friends, but they don't do anything.....most of the time.....if she takes action, she must have a really aggressive personality or she must really like you a lot....it is just my observation, women are not very bold when it comes to things like this, especially if there's a bad consequence....women are naturally more cautious and less of a risk taker than men...it is funny, women can rant and rant to their friends, but will not do anything...maybe she can flirt or dance around, most of the time, she will not be direct....of course, there are always exceptions....but i think a lot of women are like this...most probably, she will not compromise her marriage, just for a fling....unless she doesn't care about her marriage

True. It's especially funny when I notice that various female friends of various girls seem to know something somebody's not telling me, and try to fish for information on their behalf.

I highly doubt this particular woman would risk her marriage AFAIK - moreover, I actually like her husband, heh. (Woe unto husbands I dislike...)

It's why I noticed the jealousy aspect so vividly in her case (it was like an "a-ha!" moment). Even as far as women are concerned, this one has really got amazing self-control, not just sexually/romantically, but in general.

Still, I wouldn't put it past her to attempt and bamboozle her husband into, um, letting her take action, TBH.