08-21-2018, 10:29 AM
(This post was last modified: 08-21-2018, 05:03 PM by Chris P. Bacon.)
(08-21-2018, 10:10 AM)Antaeus Wrote: So I was on my way home today from taking a test for a job position. And I called my dad to let him know how I did. I was about an hour away from my house and he asked to drop something off to me within the next five minutes. Unfortunately there was a breakdown in communication which led to him not hearing me trying to tell him that I was far away from the house but he insisted that he was going to be at my house within five minutes.
I managed to get this message to him within a second phone call. But after the first call was finished I was just completely pissed off. The funny thing was it wasn’t necessarily just at him but more angry about All the times I was ever completely bulldozed in conversation. Not to mention any time when I had to speak in front of a group and was either intimidated or ridiculed/laughed at/not taken seriously by the group that I was speaking to. This happened many times in fraternity meetings when I was back in college.
This is not really anger at other people but more of myself and I’m starting to realize as life goes on that if I’m too afraid to speak and speak with a little bit of authority or assertiveness I’m not gonna be good at any job that I do in the future as there will be meetings I will be required to attend.But it seem like a lot of old shit was being dug up today so maybe somethings happening. I still believe that I will have to do a second run of AM6 to completely deal with these issues.
On a more positive note I believe I crushed the test. So hopefully I will get an interview for this position.
I'm on day 2 of stage 4 and I also felt something similar. For me it's more like a frustrating discontent for staying silent and allowing people to walk over me in prior conversations and allow others opinions without stating my own. People with strong opinions can sometimes be non combative and also not use to receiving counter points and shut down because they've been challenged
For the combative ones it's all about getting them to realize that they're opinions are just that, and in the rare instance they stumbled on to a truth it usually needs to be scaled down into the proper context. Strong opinion types use to walk over me. Now I have a voice and I realize people attempted to train the combativeness out of me to conform with society. That training yields sheep that are afraid to step on toes and is utterly foolish. At the expense of the uncomfort conflict of beliefs brings we have produced sheep like males that conform to the strongest voice instead of blazing their own trail. Truly a pity. I'm glad you are realizing what you are. It's the first step into a larger sphere of self respect and freedom, especially of thought and speech.
