Magnus' journal

[Shannon]

Jimbo, try pushing yourself more and more each week. I remember when I started my journey I was terrified to go out on my own. So one day after Christmas, I had a bunch of gift cards and I wanted to use them. At this time I didn't have friends I regularly hung out with. When I went on my own to the mall it was intimidating because the place was PACKED. After walking around, I got more comfortable and decided it was a good idea for me to do this regularly to get used to being out on my own and not being so self-conscious about it all.

I ended up going to the mall 1-2 times a week and just walked around, got some lunch, visit a store or 2 and then left. Just to get comfortable doing so and talking to the employees if I felt like it. After that, I was visiting Starbuck's, not going through the drive through but the lobby, I became a regular they always knew me. Book stores are good too, just go out and read at the book store or library on your own. After that, work up to going out to a bar alone. If you don't feel like conversing, you don't have to, but just feel comfortable being out on your own. It doesn't matter if you talk or don't, it's all about not caring. You'll start conversing more and more over time. It takes time and with the further sets, you'll get there quickly.

Ryan

Yes, exactly what I do/have been doing lately. The other day I went to a local bar alone. I don't go to bars but rarely, and never alone until then. SM 2.0 made it vastly easier to go, but I still felt some nervousness walking in, although it was easily overcome. I walked in, sat down at the bar, and then had dinner and a couple pints while playing the trivia game they had going that night. By myself, competing with groups of 8-12 people, Team Ultra (me) ranked 3rd place, and I won a $20 gift certificate that night and my tab was only $19.64. I also had a great time. Didn't talk to anyone but a long time friend, but I got out, and I made progress.

Baby steps. Social anxiety and approach anxiety stem in large part from non-familiarity. You need to become familiar with the places and the people in them. Eventually, socializing becomes the new norm, and familiarity isn't as important.