Antaeus' AM6 Reboot Journal

[Antaeus]

There’s something that I haven’t really been journaling about that probably should mention. No unfortunately I’m one of those people who tends to dwell on his own insecurities a lot. I find that lately I’ve been dwelling on them a lot more. Sometimes I feel absolutely hopeless like I’m not normal like I don’t belong. I sometimes feel like I need to hide my true self. It seems almost as though this is the opposite of what is supposed to happen But I imagine it could be resistance of some sort. I don’t really know what to make of all this but I’ve been feeling really angry about a lot of it.

I also think about how I tend to be infantilize by a lot of people in my life. My mother is one person who does this but there are other people who do it as well. And it sometimes makes me wonder if I give off sort of this childish vibe. That people feel like they need to protect me or infantilize me. I have a friend who tends to do this to me who is actually a year younger than me. I don’t know why people do this maybe it’s their way of showing they care . But it pisses me off and maybe it’s starting to become clear to me what my boundaries are and what I’m willing and not willing to tolerate from people. I’m feeling the desire to start being a lot more honest about it.