EPRHA (free version)

[AsIGotHitByACar]

Hi man! And welcome to this forums.

The feeling I get from reading your text is that you care to much about what people think about you to be able to live your life freely. You are concerned about being judged and don't feel that you have enough solid ground under your feet to take on life and just pursue whatever it is that you want, that fear is holding you back.

In case I am somewhat in the ballpark, I think that fear is your biggest enemy. And I can relate to that. I got hit by depression and got lost into deep worry and fear, which took away all of my confidence and made me unable to do almost anything for around 1 year. But I have come a huge way from that, and even though I feel insecurities, they don't have the same power over me, and I am feeling more safe and comfortable in the world for every day that goes.

What have helped me have been multiple things, subliminals (I have been using EHPRA 2.0 for around 30 days) have been one thing. What really helped me understand how I should proceed with healing myself, and that it was possible to heal, was a book called "the body keeps the score". Which is about how our bodies store our worries and that our insecurities stems from that. When we are connected to our bodies we don't worry about daily things, we are comfortable in our skins, and we can go along and live our lives. Until I realized that, I thought _I_ was flawed, that something was wrong with me, but that made me realize that I am just a human being who currently "live" in a damanged body. So I started working with my body, with Yoga, and with a thing called trauma releasing exercises (great book about that btw - you can probably get your library at school to buy it if they don't have it) - and that stuff have really helped me get back.

So just wanted to give you some things that have helped me to recover from insecurities and become more comfortable in my skin:

• Yoga. I have practised a yoga called Kindalini-yoga
  
• Trauma releasing exercises
  
• Meditation - Google for root chakra meditation (a lot to read on chakras also, I have used that system to guide my healing, it's the theory behind yoga
  
• Cold showers and breathing exercises - google for "Wim Hof"
  

Best of luck and happy to see you here!

Thanks for the post. You are correct, I do care way too much about what people think and it dictates so much of what I do. When I moved to secondary school, I was very much a 'class clown', a bit of an attention seeker - not in the worst possible way, but I took note of the fact that it didn't get the best response and hurt by that, I remember making a conscious decision to be more reserved. Unfortunately I think I got confused and took it to mean I shouldn't be myself, which caused me to be unsure about how to behave. I've always been afraid to be completely myself, because I'm worried that being myself is to be really embarrassing and I'm better off shutting up. I know this is wrong, but it's so difficult to change back to that original state.

I actually want to go to some exercise classes and yoga could be an interesting route to take, but currently I'm too afraid to attend something like that. Just too self-conscious and embarrassed, but that's me in a nutshell.