DMSI 3.2 A Day 13
Don't think I put it in any of my posts, but last week I told kinky girl that I thought it was best that we didn't see each other anymore. I told her that I had a lot of fun with her and enjoyed her company. That she was a sweet girl and I wish her nothing but the best and success with all her ambitions in life. We just wanted different things though, and that was alright. I wanted to come across in the kindest possible way and let her know that I genuinely wished the best for her and I think I did that.
Once again things went real smooth with my attractive client this week. I can definitely tell she is into me.As much as I would love to bone her though she has a husband and I want to respect him and their marriage. It would be VERY hard(pun intended) if she made a move on me not to go with it, but I want to keep integrity with the kind of person i'm trying to develop into and that person would not do that. Even if the attraction keeps building I don't think she will though because she seems like the type of girl that is very loyal. I think she would have to be single first for anything to happen in which case I would be all for it lol.
Minus this experience with her this week I have been feeling a bit down and demotivated. I have mostly been caught up in negative thoughts and negative judgments about myself. I notice I seem to be the most stifled around my family. I think its because they have known me the longest so I feel like they see through me therefore i'm not allowed to be as confident as I want to be. A lot of times I notice its a lot easier to be more open and confidently expressive with just random people I just met than my own family because they have no pre conceived notions of me so I feel like I can better openly express myself.Might sound kind of weird but I've had this issue for awhile, long before my time with dmsi. It just seems like I've been noticing it more as of late.
Tonight watched some UFC fights with some good friends and even with them just felt kind of stifled and in my head most the night. Self critical and validation seeking(cringes). Its hard to admit that, but I need to be more honest with both myself and others. This self consciousness and self judgement thing is one of the biggest issues in my life that I have been struggling with and has been holding me back for the past years. I'm really hoping DMSI can help me eventually break through this to be able to freely express myself and be the guy I know I am capable of being, but have trouble showing through and fully embodying because of mental blocks. Id honestly rather have that effect than the goal of the program, though they would probably coincide with one another.
Don't think I put it in any of my posts, but last week I told kinky girl that I thought it was best that we didn't see each other anymore. I told her that I had a lot of fun with her and enjoyed her company. That she was a sweet girl and I wish her nothing but the best and success with all her ambitions in life. We just wanted different things though, and that was alright. I wanted to come across in the kindest possible way and let her know that I genuinely wished the best for her and I think I did that.
Once again things went real smooth with my attractive client this week. I can definitely tell she is into me.As much as I would love to bone her though she has a husband and I want to respect him and their marriage. It would be VERY hard(pun intended) if she made a move on me not to go with it, but I want to keep integrity with the kind of person i'm trying to develop into and that person would not do that. Even if the attraction keeps building I don't think she will though because she seems like the type of girl that is very loyal. I think she would have to be single first for anything to happen in which case I would be all for it lol.
Minus this experience with her this week I have been feeling a bit down and demotivated. I have mostly been caught up in negative thoughts and negative judgments about myself. I notice I seem to be the most stifled around my family. I think its because they have known me the longest so I feel like they see through me therefore i'm not allowed to be as confident as I want to be. A lot of times I notice its a lot easier to be more open and confidently expressive with just random people I just met than my own family because they have no pre conceived notions of me so I feel like I can better openly express myself.Might sound kind of weird but I've had this issue for awhile, long before my time with dmsi. It just seems like I've been noticing it more as of late.
Tonight watched some UFC fights with some good friends and even with them just felt kind of stifled and in my head most the night. Self critical and validation seeking(cringes). Its hard to admit that, but I need to be more honest with both myself and others. This self consciousness and self judgement thing is one of the biggest issues in my life that I have been struggling with and has been holding me back for the past years. I'm really hoping DMSI can help me eventually break through this to be able to freely express myself and be the guy I know I am capable of being, but have trouble showing through and fully embodying because of mental blocks. Id honestly rather have that effect than the goal of the program, though they would probably coincide with one another.
