I miss being honest, being held up by an impassable standard, a clear goal of being honest emotionally or otherwise. This took place heavily while on UD, and I'm experiencing it to a lesser degree today. But I am feeling it.
This is important to me since it's a night and day comparison. One side creates instant anxiety for me since my biggest job is to choose the BEST LOOKING lie to fit my situation. I might have ten options. And feeling like a slimeball.....was my norm. Ugghh. This was my life.
The other side has one choice: the truth. WOW!!! All I have to do is.....be honest? I might even like myself more when being honest. While I'm used to anxiety, I feel better letting it go. I felt, and feel better, about me.
I'm missing it bad tonight. I wrote some in the Chatterbox, and the urge to be honest grew while writing. I"m not sure why. It just feels GREAT to let go of lies!!!!!
This is important to me since it's a night and day comparison. One side creates instant anxiety for me since my biggest job is to choose the BEST LOOKING lie to fit my situation. I might have ten options. And feeling like a slimeball.....was my norm. Ugghh. This was my life.
The other side has one choice: the truth. WOW!!! All I have to do is.....be honest? I might even like myself more when being honest. While I'm used to anxiety, I feel better letting it go. I felt, and feel better, about me.
I'm missing it bad tonight. I wrote some in the Chatterbox, and the urge to be honest grew while writing. I"m not sure why. It just feels GREAT to let go of lies!!!!!
I want to be FREE!
