03-19-2018, 02:02 AM
Day 115
I feel quite in ease. I am now handling situations much better. Previously I would handle emotional / situational pressure by closing myself and withdrawing. Now I am able to live the scene and handle it instead of shutting off.
I am still listening to the silent sub. I feel something in my throat (bottom on neck) a lot like something in there. When I am not listening to the sub it is not there. It is not a lump inside, it is just something in in my neck maybe around it maybe inside it. Its uncomfortable.
I feel that small things do not bother me as in previous situations . They do but I can realize the botheration and remove it. Another thing I noticed is that my thinking / analytical skills have improved. Especially in social situations I can think analyze and give my response better than before. Overall its like some fog has been removed and I can see better think better and analyze better. There are things in my interaction with people that are now possible for me to notice. e.g I learned NLP or I would say attended a workshop on NLP but never got round to practice it properly. Yesterday I was listening to someone and I very easily notice the eye movement. I did not need to concentrate / stare to see the behavior.
Overall there is an increase in impatience to move on to other subs. I also feel that this impatience to move on could be resistance to the sub. I think the sub is beginning to target some very deep issues. I think in the first wave the problems at the outer level were addressed and after about 4 months the deep issues are now in focus. I have met mother of someone who was abusive to me in my childhood. I just shrugged off her like I dont care. I was not rude to her but she did not bothered me as I had expected. It was like I remembered the whole incident which played in my mind once again and I was very conscious of it but the pain was not there. I felt numb no feelings. I have felt this numbness in a variety of social situations now.
I have also found that I have resistance to wealth / success. I have problems in my job and I started my online business but it did not succeed. Now I realize that whenever I start work on my business and get the first small success I just back off. There are somethings in me which make me stop as soon as there is a chance of positive outcome or as soon as I see a good result. I need to think on that and remove it.
I feel quite in ease. I am now handling situations much better. Previously I would handle emotional / situational pressure by closing myself and withdrawing. Now I am able to live the scene and handle it instead of shutting off.
I am still listening to the silent sub. I feel something in my throat (bottom on neck) a lot like something in there. When I am not listening to the sub it is not there. It is not a lump inside, it is just something in in my neck maybe around it maybe inside it. Its uncomfortable.
I feel that small things do not bother me as in previous situations . They do but I can realize the botheration and remove it. Another thing I noticed is that my thinking / analytical skills have improved. Especially in social situations I can think analyze and give my response better than before. Overall its like some fog has been removed and I can see better think better and analyze better. There are things in my interaction with people that are now possible for me to notice. e.g I learned NLP or I would say attended a workshop on NLP but never got round to practice it properly. Yesterday I was listening to someone and I very easily notice the eye movement. I did not need to concentrate / stare to see the behavior.
Overall there is an increase in impatience to move on to other subs. I also feel that this impatience to move on could be resistance to the sub. I think the sub is beginning to target some very deep issues. I think in the first wave the problems at the outer level were addressed and after about 4 months the deep issues are now in focus. I have met mother of someone who was abusive to me in my childhood. I just shrugged off her like I dont care. I was not rude to her but she did not bothered me as I had expected. It was like I remembered the whole incident which played in my mind once again and I was very conscious of it but the pain was not there. I felt numb no feelings. I have felt this numbness in a variety of social situations now.
I have also found that I have resistance to wealth / success. I have problems in my job and I started my online business but it did not succeed. Now I realize that whenever I start work on my business and get the first small success I just back off. There are somethings in me which make me stop as soon as there is a chance of positive outcome or as soon as I see a good result. I need to think on that and remove it.
E1 182 days: E2 127 days: USLM3 317 days: UMS 210 days...
