03-10-2018, 11:55 PM
Day 16.
Met with the fat chick from day 9. It was a weird meet and kinda unexpected as she was supposed to go to a friend's place and get stoned. Oddly, she called me within a couple of minutes of getting stoned and gave me an opening to ask her to meet. This was so funny. when I asked her if she is going to go see her friend sing at place x, she asked 'do u mean we go and watch her sing?' I was not expecting to meet her that day, but that was a nice opening to suggested we meet. Maybe because she was stoned or it was DMSI but she mumbled 'I don't want to have sex today' and I almost laughed as it had not occurred to me so far. and she continued, ' I mean I can, but I don't want to'. I had my own reservations about this girl being a bit crazy so I wasn't gonna push for a first day lay anyway. So I told her that's thinking way too ahead. so we met.
Well, it turns out she is not a bad looker, but a bit on the heavy side. whenever she tried to provoke me, I ended up laughing or taking that provocation to a higher level. This was so much different than my old self where I would defend my actions to death.
So when she said 'gosh you are so judgmental,' I would just smile and say 'yup'. And I was also saying stuff that I usually would not say out loud like I called her 'crazy weird' on her face and then laughed. It felt like my frame was so strong I didn't care for her reactions anymore.
At some point in time, I was playing with her hair and that seemed to piss her off. she made a weird face and asked to stop doing that a bit loud. then she said she will leave after the drink, so I gulped down mine and said, suit yourself and walked off. She walked behind me and asked 'do you want to know what you did wrong?
to which I laughed and said " I really don't care" and I meant it! and I walked off.
This is such a big reality change for me. In the past I would have tried to reason with her, convince her, bribe her etc to stay a bit longer and would have felt bad that it didn't go according to the plan. But now I just simply didn't care. In fact, I was thinking that had I left soon after she said stop playing with my hair, I could have saved the 10 bucks on the drink that I really didn't need.
Did I get laid? No, But have I've made massive progress in my own behaviour, and it's not just a thought, I have seen it in action now.
is DMSI working? you betcha!!!
Even though she walked away for a silly reason, I suspect there was a bit more behind it. because my previous assessment of her has been spot on. Maybe it was too much for her to process and she just needed an excuse to get away. And I have a strong feeling she may even contact me again.
In any case, that was a chock full of experience for a $10 drink.
Met with the fat chick from day 9. It was a weird meet and kinda unexpected as she was supposed to go to a friend's place and get stoned. Oddly, she called me within a couple of minutes of getting stoned and gave me an opening to ask her to meet. This was so funny. when I asked her if she is going to go see her friend sing at place x, she asked 'do u mean we go and watch her sing?' I was not expecting to meet her that day, but that was a nice opening to suggested we meet. Maybe because she was stoned or it was DMSI but she mumbled 'I don't want to have sex today' and I almost laughed as it had not occurred to me so far. and she continued, ' I mean I can, but I don't want to'. I had my own reservations about this girl being a bit crazy so I wasn't gonna push for a first day lay anyway. So I told her that's thinking way too ahead. so we met.
Well, it turns out she is not a bad looker, but a bit on the heavy side. whenever she tried to provoke me, I ended up laughing or taking that provocation to a higher level. This was so much different than my old self where I would defend my actions to death.
So when she said 'gosh you are so judgmental,' I would just smile and say 'yup'. And I was also saying stuff that I usually would not say out loud like I called her 'crazy weird' on her face and then laughed. It felt like my frame was so strong I didn't care for her reactions anymore.
At some point in time, I was playing with her hair and that seemed to piss her off. she made a weird face and asked to stop doing that a bit loud. then she said she will leave after the drink, so I gulped down mine and said, suit yourself and walked off. She walked behind me and asked 'do you want to know what you did wrong?
to which I laughed and said " I really don't care" and I meant it! and I walked off.
This is such a big reality change for me. In the past I would have tried to reason with her, convince her, bribe her etc to stay a bit longer and would have felt bad that it didn't go according to the plan. But now I just simply didn't care. In fact, I was thinking that had I left soon after she said stop playing with my hair, I could have saved the 10 bucks on the drink that I really didn't need.
Did I get laid? No, But have I've made massive progress in my own behaviour, and it's not just a thought, I have seen it in action now.
is DMSI working? you betcha!!!
Even though she walked away for a silly reason, I suspect there was a bit more behind it. because my previous assessment of her has been spot on. Maybe it was too much for her to process and she just needed an excuse to get away. And I have a strong feeling she may even contact me again.
In any case, that was a chock full of experience for a $10 drink.
