03-10-2018, 01:09 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-10-2018, 01:11 AM by Have at ye.)
Ok, it's my break day, so I guess time for an update.
It's been kinda rough at times, emotionally. The parts of me that made themselves apparent while resisting 3.1 are putting up a fight or something. There are moments when I feel terribad, sometimes to the point of actually having a reaction as I were experiencing physical pain (though I am not, so no worries). There's some kind of push-pull going on between the parts of me that are willing to execute, and those that are not. When the unwilling parts make themselves known, I do spend quite a bit of mental capacities (conscious; I cannot readily say about the unconscious) on convincing them to cooperate, so there's that. I think that progress is being made, though. Interestingly enough, I've been using the fact that those parts which are ready to execute feel really good thanks to the "morphine drip" effect, and have been telling myself something to the extent of "see how good it's gonna feel to cooperate?"
The resistant parts seem to be focusing on past experiences, while those that are more than happy to execute couldn't really give less of a shit about the past.
The resistant parts seem to be trying to fight off PTPA and Self-esteem, as they're scared that, should I actually start acting the part, I will be left all alone to survive in the world absent the "support" of others as they will stop wanting to associate with me, and even try to sabotage me. It's not exactly a rational thing (because why would it be), but that's what I think is at issue here. Also, this does go to show what my subconscious thinks about most of the people I've been associating with (and justifiably so). There are moments when PTPA and SE seem to be kicking in, and boy do these moments feel good.
Funny thing is, though, that there are times when I feel bad because I do not believe myself to be executing the script 100%, even though I know it will be good for me, and knowing full well that it's all up to me and my choices/will. It's kinda like beating yourself up for smoking a cigarette when you've been on your way to quitting, know what I mean? Something like that. I do not know whether it's a good sign or not.
I can't shake off the thought that using ver. A of 3.2 for a bit would assist in fixing the above, as a lot of the above is the result of emotional trauma, I think. We'll see about that once ver. A hits the proverbial shelves, won't we now?
The program itself is freakishly strong. All the phenomenal effects of listening to, f. in., ver 3.1 (visual artifacts, "electrical" buzzing throughout the body, bodyheat increase, etc.) have increased in strength. My excess flab has been going away steadily and at a pretty rapid pace to boot, and now I'm really close to where I was, flab-wise, prior to starting the DMSI adventure (AOSI, in my case). There's a visible difference in the mirror and in the fit of my clothing. Also, my musculature is becoming more toned, I think - I can see it in the outline of my arms and my neck. Skin also seems to be looking healthier.
Libido is back with a vengeance and is quite high (and - most importantly - steady), anxiety about ED down to almost non-existence. Definite improvement for me compared to ver. 3.1. Can't wait to test it in practice at the nearest opportunity, lol.
On the female reactions front, I've been getting some that are very promising, and have had several of the "what are the odds" chance encounters with females I find attractive, all that DMSI manifestation jazz. Interestingly enough, wherever I go, I see *so many* extremely attractive women I'm sometimes all like "WTF is going on here" on the inside. Also, all of the above mentioned emotional "push-pull" going on seems to stop in an instant whenever I'm interacting with a female. I've also noticed many women pretty much glaring at me, either more or less explicitly, when I'm in public. It's currently pretty much what ver. 3.1 would net me, but more steady in its occurrence.
Had an intuitive urge to try two loops around day 10, I think, and it still comes up from time to time. I have refrained from doing so and am following the instructions as they are now, though.
I think I'll have to switch to before-sleep listening, as - apart from the first several days - ver. 3.2 is putting me right out soon after listening to my loop for the day. That is to say, I get really, really sleepy. And I do have an increased need for sleep.
So that's that for now, I'll post more once I have it or remember anything relevant/interesting/amusing.
Cheerio, beautiful people!
It's been kinda rough at times, emotionally. The parts of me that made themselves apparent while resisting 3.1 are putting up a fight or something. There are moments when I feel terribad, sometimes to the point of actually having a reaction as I were experiencing physical pain (though I am not, so no worries). There's some kind of push-pull going on between the parts of me that are willing to execute, and those that are not. When the unwilling parts make themselves known, I do spend quite a bit of mental capacities (conscious; I cannot readily say about the unconscious) on convincing them to cooperate, so there's that. I think that progress is being made, though. Interestingly enough, I've been using the fact that those parts which are ready to execute feel really good thanks to the "morphine drip" effect, and have been telling myself something to the extent of "see how good it's gonna feel to cooperate?"
The resistant parts seem to be focusing on past experiences, while those that are more than happy to execute couldn't really give less of a shit about the past.The resistant parts seem to be trying to fight off PTPA and Self-esteem, as they're scared that, should I actually start acting the part, I will be left all alone to survive in the world absent the "support" of others as they will stop wanting to associate with me, and even try to sabotage me. It's not exactly a rational thing (because why would it be), but that's what I think is at issue here. Also, this does go to show what my subconscious thinks about most of the people I've been associating with (and justifiably so). There are moments when PTPA and SE seem to be kicking in, and boy do these moments feel good.
Funny thing is, though, that there are times when I feel bad because I do not believe myself to be executing the script 100%, even though I know it will be good for me, and knowing full well that it's all up to me and my choices/will. It's kinda like beating yourself up for smoking a cigarette when you've been on your way to quitting, know what I mean? Something like that. I do not know whether it's a good sign or not.
I can't shake off the thought that using ver. A of 3.2 for a bit would assist in fixing the above, as a lot of the above is the result of emotional trauma, I think. We'll see about that once ver. A hits the proverbial shelves, won't we now?
The program itself is freakishly strong. All the phenomenal effects of listening to, f. in., ver 3.1 (visual artifacts, "electrical" buzzing throughout the body, bodyheat increase, etc.) have increased in strength. My excess flab has been going away steadily and at a pretty rapid pace to boot, and now I'm really close to where I was, flab-wise, prior to starting the DMSI adventure (AOSI, in my case). There's a visible difference in the mirror and in the fit of my clothing. Also, my musculature is becoming more toned, I think - I can see it in the outline of my arms and my neck. Skin also seems to be looking healthier.
Libido is back with a vengeance and is quite high (and - most importantly - steady), anxiety about ED down to almost non-existence. Definite improvement for me compared to ver. 3.1. Can't wait to test it in practice at the nearest opportunity, lol.
On the female reactions front, I've been getting some that are very promising, and have had several of the "what are the odds" chance encounters with females I find attractive, all that DMSI manifestation jazz. Interestingly enough, wherever I go, I see *so many* extremely attractive women I'm sometimes all like "WTF is going on here
" on the inside. Also, all of the above mentioned emotional "push-pull" going on seems to stop in an instant whenever I'm interacting with a female. I've also noticed many women pretty much glaring at me, either more or less explicitly, when I'm in public. It's currently pretty much what ver. 3.1 would net me, but more steady in its occurrence.Had an intuitive urge to try two loops around day 10, I think, and it still comes up from time to time. I have refrained from doing so and am following the instructions as they are now, though.
I think I'll have to switch to before-sleep listening, as - apart from the first several days - ver. 3.2 is putting me right out soon after listening to my loop for the day. That is to say, I get really, really sleepy. And I do have an increased need for sleep.
So that's that for now, I'll post more once I have it or remember anything relevant/interesting/amusing.
Cheerio, beautiful people!
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
