Raykon's Self Esteem 5.5g Journal

[Raykon]

What did you tell her over the text after the date that was so needy? I am really curious but I understand if it`s too personal to post here

well i was too eager to chill again after first date & displayed too much interest. Plus I become emotional over text in a situation where I shouldn't have and that tipped me over to the edge where she no longer wants to be with me in a relationship.

No more pictures, no more signs of her wanting to be my GF.

I am at fault 100 percent and I am deeply regretful.

Hmm...from reading your journal I would say maybe your inconsistent behavior turned her off? You went from being so confident to tell her you were going on a date with another girl to being needy and emotional over text. But don`t despair, new DMSI is on the horizon

Yeah for sure thats what it is. And that's the sad part. I know where/how i fucked up. But it's too late now, nothing I can do about it.

Only can learn from this experience. But At the end of the day I take a LOSS (but I learned SO MUCH so a not a lose - lose situation)

although it still feels like i took a huge L

The only thing that was a huge win was the first date. not one awkward silence, or feelings of anxiety. She talked the whole time but I lead the interaction as well and also got sexual/physical at the end (used to be one of my sticking points, getting physical. I think DMSI is what fixed this)

I was very comfortable on the date and with the tension. Last year when I went out with that 29 year old beauty I had a panic attack right before but on the date the anxiety went away after few minutes luckily.

This 7 hour date I had she even wanted to come over and bang but I didn't bring her back because I was expecting to see her again soon and didn't want the sex to be rushed because she had a work party to go to after & I had curfew.

I regret it now though I should have banged her. That's also one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't bang her when she wanted to bang me.