11-23-2017, 07:57 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-23-2017, 07:58 PM by Chris P. Bacon.)
Today is Thanksgiving in America. I was having a bad day and didn't know it for most of the day. Woke up in just "doing" mode with a drive to just do something, anything. Went through my meditation time, I use Shannons meditation set.
I have had internal nudges over that past 3 years to start mindfulness mediation but dragged my feet. Sydney Banks and Clarity have given me the reason to understanding why. So a few weeks ago, even before I fully understood why, I started mindfulness meditation again. For me, meditation is the gateway to the state I have understood but not fully reached. The goal is to reach the state where I can fully control my thought. Not my thinking, but my thought ABILITY. I am not the thinking, I am the thinker. Now, this roadmap might be the long way, but I know it's MLS inspired because I feel an undercurrent pushing me in this direction and I'm going to go with the flow. Anyways, back to today.
I was fighting with doing all day and staying with myself and not giving up. I did another tradestation tutorial and engaged my imagination/third eye a little more and I remember a little better, but I came to the conclusion that I need to be hands on by going through the actions while the instructor is as well. I learn best by being hands on.
The "doing" feeling persisted even after the tutorials. It was at this point that I drank a little to calm down. I have always drunk a little on my days off or after work. It has actually helped me in this MLS process a bit. Anyways, the day felt like it was getting worse after that and at one point I finally had a realization. "Wait a minute, this might be resistance". As soon as I realized it, something broke. I'm not sure what was resistance, but as soon as I realized it, it broke. Abou 45 mins ago I was watching a video on Facebook showing a guy making something, and it clicked. Internally I had a feeling well up in me that almost shouted: "I CAN DO THAT!!!". I realized I could do the same thing he did if I had the right tools. I'm almost amazed that I never experienced that before. I'm capable of doing anything anyone else does.
That feeling of "doing" mode is still present, but I know it will eventually leave. When I look at trading futures now, I know I can do it. If another human can trade futures so can I, because, they are just as human as me. The only thing stopping me was me. I look back on my prior attempt to trade futures and it's clear as day to me why I failed. Now I see what I need to do, and it's simple in concept, but may take some time to fully execute. My trading strategy needs to be accurate, very accurate, accurate enough to automate, which tradestation can actually do
I have had internal nudges over that past 3 years to start mindfulness mediation but dragged my feet. Sydney Banks and Clarity have given me the reason to understanding why. So a few weeks ago, even before I fully understood why, I started mindfulness meditation again. For me, meditation is the gateway to the state I have understood but not fully reached. The goal is to reach the state where I can fully control my thought. Not my thinking, but my thought ABILITY. I am not the thinking, I am the thinker. Now, this roadmap might be the long way, but I know it's MLS inspired because I feel an undercurrent pushing me in this direction and I'm going to go with the flow. Anyways, back to today.
I was fighting with doing all day and staying with myself and not giving up. I did another tradestation tutorial and engaged my imagination/third eye a little more and I remember a little better, but I came to the conclusion that I need to be hands on by going through the actions while the instructor is as well. I learn best by being hands on.
The "doing" feeling persisted even after the tutorials. It was at this point that I drank a little to calm down. I have always drunk a little on my days off or after work. It has actually helped me in this MLS process a bit. Anyways, the day felt like it was getting worse after that and at one point I finally had a realization. "Wait a minute, this might be resistance". As soon as I realized it, something broke. I'm not sure what was resistance, but as soon as I realized it, it broke. Abou 45 mins ago I was watching a video on Facebook showing a guy making something, and it clicked. Internally I had a feeling well up in me that almost shouted: "I CAN DO THAT!!!". I realized I could do the same thing he did if I had the right tools. I'm almost amazed that I never experienced that before. I'm capable of doing anything anyone else does.
That feeling of "doing" mode is still present, but I know it will eventually leave. When I look at trading futures now, I know I can do it. If another human can trade futures so can I, because, they are just as human as me. The only thing stopping me was me. I look back on my prior attempt to trade futures and it's clear as day to me why I failed. Now I see what I need to do, and it's simple in concept, but may take some time to fully execute. My trading strategy needs to be accurate, very accurate, accurate enough to automate, which tradestation can actually do
