10-23-2017, 07:46 AM
So here we are. I did not complete round 2 of SM3. Stopped around stage 4. the 10h a day commitment became a burden. Specifically, the 2 waking hours of having to wear headphones without interruption. If I run subs again, it's 8h a day while I sleep, with the occasional 1h of headphones.
So what's changed? Not much. I got older. I haven't had sex in almost 6 years now and I'm sure I don't even fully understand what kind of impact that's had on my mental health. It's the same old story. Opportunities come and go, and I don't pursue them because most days my confidence sucks.
~
I wrote so much more about why my confidence sucks, and details about my life which explain why I am the way I am and feel the way I do lately, but after a few days of drafting it's just too much of a time sink to pour it all out and edit. Plus I'm sure most of you don't want to read a novel about me. I will share snippets if/when it becomes relevant to do so.
~
Things are looking up lately and it's all mental. Fear is powerful, but so is routine. Acceptance is cancer.
So what's changed? Not much. I got older. I haven't had sex in almost 6 years now and I'm sure I don't even fully understand what kind of impact that's had on my mental health. It's the same old story. Opportunities come and go, and I don't pursue them because most days my confidence sucks.
~
I wrote so much more about why my confidence sucks, and details about my life which explain why I am the way I am and feel the way I do lately, but after a few days of drafting it's just too much of a time sink to pour it all out and edit. Plus I'm sure most of you don't want to read a novel about me. I will share snippets if/when it becomes relevant to do so.
~
Things are looking up lately and it's all mental. Fear is powerful, but so is routine. Acceptance is cancer.
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
