myth's Belated DMSI 3.1 Journal

[myth]

Super-long post ahead. Proceed at your own literacy.

Before I switch gears to run UD, I'm going to drop some of my most recent ideas here as a bookmark of where I've paused with DMSI. These are just some nuggets that I've refined for myself while on DMSI; they're not quotes or re-blogs or meant as advice, affirmations, discussion topics, or things that I expect anyone else to see similarly. In fact, I consider them no more than my current self-delusions, which is, more or less, what perception is.

It's just a snapshot of how I think/feel today. Could all change by tomorrow.

1. A sexier me is still me. If "me" wasn't her thing, "sexier me" probably isn't either. If "me" was her thing, "sexier me" will probably go over really well. If "sexier" does make a difference, then "me" never mattered, and I see no value in prospective relationships where I don't matter.
   
2. I don't force people to like me; I welcome the ones that do. My goal with others is appreciation and mutual respect, not subjugation or conquest.
   
3. I aim to control self, not others (or the universe). Anyone who wants to control others enjoys having an extra workload; my own workload is plenty, thanks.
   
4. An attractive (or repellent) woman liking me (or disliking me) is not proof of anything. Her outside has nothing to do with how her insides feel about me.
   
5. I don't try to impress others with the outsides of a woman whose insides happen to like me. Others aren't involved and have different tastes, so it makes no sense to me.
   
6. A woman's attraction to me is more important than my attraction to her. If she's not attracted, then any attraction on my part is moot. (Unless it's porn or unless I change professions to become a photographer, beauty contest judge, make-up artist, etc.)
   
7. I don't care about controlling who chooses me. I notice who chooses me and create my preferred outcome from the abundance of options it provides.
   
8. The universe has designed "awesome" better than I ever could. It's brought me several amazing women that I'd never have typically chosen for myself, so it clearly knows things about choosing my prospective partners that I don't. Humility keeps me from missing out on what I don't know/understand and from chasing mirages that I don't see for what they are.
   
9. I don't choose my partners until the choice is really mine to make.
   
10. A person's taste in sexual partners has nothing to do with my taste in them as a sexual partner. The notion that we will be at equal places on each other's attraction spectrum is ludicrous, even if we're both intensely attracted to each other. I've let the unrealistic expectation of "equal attraction" go -- in favor of "compatible attraction."
    
11. A person's taste in sexual partners is about how they see others, not about how their body looks to others, about who others think/wish they would choose, or about who others think should choose them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not the eye of the third-hand observer or even the eye of the beheld.
    
12. "Out of my league" is a conclusion drawn from the faulty premise that relationships aren't subjective.
    
13. The flip-side of lamenting one specific attractive woman's unique taste is being able to benefit from another's.
    
14. Everyone has a different point of view about me that I may never be able to comprehend, much less replicate with others or emulate myself.
    
15. No one's perspective of me outweighs mine. Everyone is liked and disliked, so no person's opinion of me is universal, consistent, or mine to change, whether the opinion is positive, negative, or completely unintelligible. And the only opinion truly within my (not necessarily conscious) control is my own.
    
16. Do what works for me, and those who resonate with it will follow. Those who don't will go elsewhere, and they're welcome to do so.
    
17. There's no sense in trying to make people like me (disrespectful to them, desperate of me) when other people don't need convincing. There's no shortage of people in this world that I find interesting or attractive, and some will like me, whether I want them to like me or not. That's plenty.
    
18. I don't waste time on an uninterested person when their physical/intellectual/etc twin is actually interested. And I definitely don't ignore the second one while wasting effort on the first. It's not about first-seen-first-obsessed.
    
19. I dig where X actually marks the spot. I don't dig where I want treasure to be and expect treasure to hop in solely because I've dug the hole.
    
20. Crushes (one-itis?) are nothing more than premature commitment. I don't commit to something before there's something there to commit to. And "premature commitment" isn't something to shame myself for having done in the past, just something to been seen as unnecessary to me now.
    
21. I outgrew "imaginary friends" when I got old enough. I outgrew "friends with imaginary benefits" when I got old enough. It's just a stage of growing up.
    
22. Upon entering a room, I wait to see how I'm rated before bothering to rate anyone else. Finding the hottest-woman-who-doesn't-want-me is never a goal.
    
23. When someone shows subtle positive interest, a positive reply makes a difference, no matter how subtle.
    
24. Teasing is about making someone want more, not about taunting them for sport.
    
25. Body language is a conversation, not a one-way traffic light.
    
26. Body language is no less vague, individual, or awkwardly spoken than English is, and ignoring what someone's saying, simply because it's not articulate, is a choice to remain ignorant.
    
27. Past precedent is only previous present spontaneity, not a recipe to adhere to for all similar future decisions. What happens tomorrow can be brand new present spontaneity when I get there.
    
28. My first reaction to a stimulus is not a promise that all future reactions should be the same. Pavlov's dog was not built in a day.
    
29. My past documents when I first decided to turn left, but my future can document when I first decided to turn right. Past me may be defined by my past, but present me is defined by my present, and future me is defined by my future.
    
30. I'm not accountable for the universe, but I am accountable for how I react to it. The universe includes subliminal suggestions, past experiences, things that other people say, and a whole lot more. My reactions include my emotions, thoughts, actions, dreams, etc.
    
31. My response to a stimulus is my responsibility. The stimulus is not to blame for which response I choose to have. That's all on me.
    
32. I control how I present myself to others. I do not control how they perceive it or react to it. But, if I lead by example and see myself positively, they may lazily agree with me.
    
33. People apparently love to join and defend bandwagons. Make my sexiness a bandwagon, and then leave it to them to overdo it. Declare myself sexy first, beforehand, and then leave it to them to figure out how and why, letting their soapboxes, whisper campaigns, recruitment drives, etc do the work for me.
    
34. My conscious mind may want to be in control, and one of its jobs is to filter ideas administratively, but my subconscious mind is the one with more understanding, wisdom, capability, resources, and practice. A good manager understands when they may lack the perspective or experience of those doing the heavy lifting.
    
35. I have the ability to change the way that I feel about myself. If I have a negative feeling about myself, I should either pause it, find a better one, or refute the reason behind it. I shouldn't wallow in it or encourage it. If trying to pause the feeling doesn't work, it's not the only positive option available.
    
36. I don't measure the temperature with a yardstick. Likewise, I don't measure my sexiness, sex appeal, or attraction by the amount of sex that I perform or by the variety of people with whom I perform it.
    
37. I don't have to have lots of sex to be desired for lots of sex. Sexiness isn't about how much sex I choose to have. It's about how strongly sex with me is desired.
    
38. It's not the violin's fault if the violinist has to master their craft with hard work, discipline, care, and patience. Skill takes time.
    
39. "Natural affinity" may just be the result of having practiced something similar to the current goal for longer than others have. There's a difference between faster speed and having leisurely walked 90% of the distance for years beforehand.
    
40. A trophy's function is to sit on a shelf. Being thought of as "the prize" isn't nearly as important to me as having made myself worthy of the designation.
    
41. Wanting a certain compliment (smart, sexy, etc) isn't the same as deserving it. I care more about what I am than about how many others acknowledge it. Or which others acknowledge it.
    
42. Others' opinions don't make me who I am; I do.
    
43. Mimicking others is called following. Thinking for myself is called leading. I'd rather succeed by my own definition than model success by someone else's.
    
44. Someone who desires obsession probably hasn't lived it. And almost certainly hasn't tried to break up with it.
    
45. Finding a sexual partner isn't about me being more like other men, it's about understanding the type of woman who thinks "yum" when she looks at me.
    
46. Being more certain that I'm right doesn't mean that I'm any less wrong.
    
47. A theory being revered for decades or centuries doesn't make it correct. (A geocentric universe, for example.)
    
48. There's a difference between a proven hypothesis and a popular hypothesis.
    
49. There's a difference between a proven hypothesis and cherry-picking "evidence" to support the hypothesis that you want to be true.
    
50. I'm wary of theories whose only "proof" is that they haven't been disproven.
    
51. If I see a person as disposable, I see no value in winning them. And I certainly wouldn't want to deserve them. Or 1000 of them. 1000 x 0 = 0.
    

That's probably more than enough of a mental placeholder for where I've left off. Again, these are my current views after 15 months of DMSI effort, some newer than others. How much is DMSI and how much is me, I don't know, but you don't argue for sole credit when you run a three-legged race. I'll be starting my first loops of UD within the next hour or so, having already taken an 8-day break from DMSI to minimize turbulence.