DMSI V3.1-A
Day 100
Day 29 of overload loops
-T has improved in behaviour the past two weekends. Not as cold or closed off or weird anymore, more social and "cutesy", back to doing some touching again etc. Could be the sub, or could be she's single now or looking to be soon. I've noticed girls "close off" when in relationships, so it could be nothing YOU are doing, even though you can easily interpret it as so and become resentful of it etc.
-I asked out S for a drink this week casually by text, not to make a big deal out of it as I normally would. She apparently has been dating some guy since Feb., and they recently seemed to have a fight or breakup. So I took a shot, no response to my text and they seem to be back talking again. Frustrating being on the outside looking in for these situations so often in my life, watching a girl I like choose another guy or go back to the same guy over and over and over instead of going out with me. Not sure how to breach that last frontier to be the guy IN that spot, so to speak. Just boils down to me not being more attractive to her, I suppose. I felt depressed about it yesterday, doubting myself and wondering why I can't seem to punch through that barrier, but I feel better today.
-A couple other girls around are acting the same maybe, not much change. Still good, don't get me wrong, but nothing that makes me say "wow".
-A girl I was interested in just started dating somebody. Barely knew her beyond being attracted to her, but still annoyed me a bit, that sense of "here's another one I'm missing out on now due to some other guy" creeping in.
-Spammed hard over 2.5 days to read all of The Rational Male before going out tonight. Was a good read, affirmed a lot of stuff I've seen play out. So it's good to know that mentally I've arrived at many apparently sound conclusions about things and how rigged things are against men and WHY and what to do about it. I plan to reread it several times, and the second book Preventative Medicine as well, which I don't have a copy of yet but hear it's also fantastic. I feel more calm, resolute and excited about things and myself now since reading the book and finishing it 30 mins ago. I really look forward to enjoying the second book!
-Have really been pushing the loops to the limit, knowing I am having trouble seeing true results with girls on this. I want to really give it all I can to have it make a believer out of me. I wouldn't have done this before, and stuck to the instructions of 2 loops. But since Shannon's decree to open the flood gates, I have done just that. For example, on Tuesday, I did 21 loops, yesterday 19, etc. I'm REALLY pushing it hard now, over half of the loops daily are headphones loops, be that ultrasonic or hybrid, night time is a speaker with ultrasonic. I'm getting on average 100 loops+ per week in. No tiredness to report despite the huge increase in loops. Some headaches here and there like before at 2 loops, and a "pressure/tension" sensation sometimes but not daily, that isn't quite like a headache. Maybe it's a physical sign of the increased workload the mind is under. All I know is, it's annoying and takes 3 Extra Strength Advils to quell. I'm still pushing hard to give this sub all I can give it to help make a believer out of me. Even though I'm still not experiencing exhaustion despite the elevation of loops to such an extreme degree, I felt the sensation I described could be useful in determining if the sub is doing anything to me at all.
That's about it for now, friends. Going to get ready to go out and see T and others.
Stay classy.
Day 100
Day 29 of overload loops
-T has improved in behaviour the past two weekends. Not as cold or closed off or weird anymore, more social and "cutesy", back to doing some touching again etc. Could be the sub, or could be she's single now or looking to be soon. I've noticed girls "close off" when in relationships, so it could be nothing YOU are doing, even though you can easily interpret it as so and become resentful of it etc.
-I asked out S for a drink this week casually by text, not to make a big deal out of it as I normally would. She apparently has been dating some guy since Feb., and they recently seemed to have a fight or breakup. So I took a shot, no response to my text and they seem to be back talking again. Frustrating being on the outside looking in for these situations so often in my life, watching a girl I like choose another guy or go back to the same guy over and over and over instead of going out with me. Not sure how to breach that last frontier to be the guy IN that spot, so to speak. Just boils down to me not being more attractive to her, I suppose. I felt depressed about it yesterday, doubting myself and wondering why I can't seem to punch through that barrier, but I feel better today.
-A couple other girls around are acting the same maybe, not much change. Still good, don't get me wrong, but nothing that makes me say "wow".
-A girl I was interested in just started dating somebody. Barely knew her beyond being attracted to her, but still annoyed me a bit, that sense of "here's another one I'm missing out on now due to some other guy" creeping in.
-Spammed hard over 2.5 days to read all of The Rational Male before going out tonight. Was a good read, affirmed a lot of stuff I've seen play out. So it's good to know that mentally I've arrived at many apparently sound conclusions about things and how rigged things are against men and WHY and what to do about it. I plan to reread it several times, and the second book Preventative Medicine as well, which I don't have a copy of yet but hear it's also fantastic. I feel more calm, resolute and excited about things and myself now since reading the book and finishing it 30 mins ago. I really look forward to enjoying the second book!
-Have really been pushing the loops to the limit, knowing I am having trouble seeing true results with girls on this. I want to really give it all I can to have it make a believer out of me. I wouldn't have done this before, and stuck to the instructions of 2 loops. But since Shannon's decree to open the flood gates, I have done just that. For example, on Tuesday, I did 21 loops, yesterday 19, etc. I'm REALLY pushing it hard now, over half of the loops daily are headphones loops, be that ultrasonic or hybrid, night time is a speaker with ultrasonic. I'm getting on average 100 loops+ per week in. No tiredness to report despite the huge increase in loops. Some headaches here and there like before at 2 loops, and a "pressure/tension" sensation sometimes but not daily, that isn't quite like a headache. Maybe it's a physical sign of the increased workload the mind is under. All I know is, it's annoying and takes 3 Extra Strength Advils to quell. I'm still pushing hard to give this sub all I can give it to help make a believer out of me. Even though I'm still not experiencing exhaustion despite the elevation of loops to such an extreme degree, I felt the sensation I described could be useful in determining if the sub is doing anything to me at all.
That's about it for now, friends. Going to get ready to go out and see T and others.
Stay classy.
