JAKE'S IYGSH 4G JOURNAL

[Jake2015]

Day 16 Update

Had exam today.

I was surprised and a little down because I finally got to see the amount of material we actually had to study and learn.

What further added to me feeling despondent was that there is a guy at uni who studies through the year and so compiles some great notes which he shared with me.

I want to be a good student, i want to work diligently through the year so that come exam time and beyond I know my shit, but this guys notes made me think WOW and omg I can't do this.

I realised from this that the script in my mind is one of losing time to enjoy myself. If I study at home/library and do the amount of work that this guy has, then I won't have time to enjoy myself or live my life.

I realised also that the sheer amount of work needed to read and collect into notes meant that I would be bored.

I want to be a student that gets grades, high good grades but I don't want to feel overwhelmed, bored by hard work etc.

I hope this realisation is what IYGSH and MLS will deal with.

All I see is "Fear". Fear that u will loose precious moments of ur life if u start studying like him. But instead u will gain many.

consciously I know you are correct. There is a long bridge from my conscious to my subconscious, and I cannot cross over to make the subconscious listen.

Didn't you journal that with OF you are procrastinating? Still think MLS will help me with this fear of mine?