I'm going to post this here, because originally I had a brief comment which would've still been relevant to Boss's journal. Then, upon adding more context and background, it became borderline worthy of a journal update for me. So, to not derail Boss's journal, here we are:
THIS is the exact kind of stuff I've talked about with T...it's crazy I don't understand. Things were better with her before starting the sub, now it's "this" weird awkwardness all the time. She doesn't even go to hug me anymore. Out of curiosity, I've tried several times to initiate it, and she like "ignores" it to the point it's weird and awkward and I feel embarrassed and stupid, so I don't bother anymore. She feels so stunted or awkward with me, for such a hot girl it's weird to see such stone faced awkwardness. I don't know what she's reading off me, if anything, but it seems to not be a good thing. It seems like often she can't wait to get away from me, which I hate because she was my #1 DMSI intended snipee when I first started. It's gone completely backwards with her, massive regression. She is Asian, I remember Shannon speaking of their supposed inhibition about sexuality, but she dresses a bit flamboyant at times and works out a lot, has a great body and knows it. So I don't know how much inhibition she has about that. And, given her behaviour, I just find it hard to believe she's someone so attracted to me she can't even function normally like before and acts like she can't stand me. When other girls around me react normal and initiate hugging etc. with me. And they're attractive to me, but not as much as her, so I don't think she's so taken by me she can't be normal, when she'd have massive options. So strange overall, it doesn't make sense to me.
I texted T in fact, around the same time I texted S the other day. It was the same kind of message as S's. Fun, light, flirty, but for T's also a bit apologetic I had to leave early from her on Saturday night. Nothing weird or whatever. I haven't texted S or T in a long time. I saw T on Saturday night for awhile, maybe 1.5-2 hours total I was there, it was all good. But no response to my text. I know it's her number. S and T don't know each other, so it isn't like one told the other I was talking to both and they got mad or something. I will see her on Saturday again, and I'm sure it will be the same stuff, despite the no text response. Very odd behaviour. I don't understand why, or what to do about it, I find it bewildering.
S replied once in an engaged way, asked me for an update on how I'm doing. Now S I haven't seen in person in a long time, which makes it harder TO see her in person I've found with girls. I was happy she replied to me, I replied about 8 hours later when I saw the message, then asked where shes working now along side updating her on what I've been doing. I was thinking then to maybe arrange a meet soon after she replied again with where she works and when etc., and no response, lol. Don't understand that either, typical confusion sensation.
On both accounts, I was a bit surprised by the end result. But then the "this figures/as usual, they're impossible for me" stuff set in, and I felt a bit depressed etc. for awhile to be honest. I was a bit concerned that if they responded badly, it would bother me and looks like that happened. Oh well, I felt happy and excited and empowered to text both that day out of nowhere like that. I just wished it would've had a better result than the usual confusion, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration and anger/resentment stuff.
Anyway, I said if anything relevant happened when I texted S, I would update. More happened after that post, to do with S, and T, so here it is.
(05-18-2017, 08:29 AM)RTBoss Wrote: ...She was acting strange again...in the middle of talking to me, just turned on her heel and walked away! So strange....Then, when she left, she looked right at me. I waved goodbye, and it was like she looked right through me. I may as well not even been there, she just kept walking, like I was a stranger waving. Once again, I'm left thinking, "Okay..."
THIS is the exact kind of stuff I've talked about with T...it's crazy I don't understand. Things were better with her before starting the sub, now it's "this" weird awkwardness all the time. She doesn't even go to hug me anymore. Out of curiosity, I've tried several times to initiate it, and she like "ignores" it to the point it's weird and awkward and I feel embarrassed and stupid, so I don't bother anymore. She feels so stunted or awkward with me, for such a hot girl it's weird to see such stone faced awkwardness. I don't know what she's reading off me, if anything, but it seems to not be a good thing. It seems like often she can't wait to get away from me, which I hate because she was my #1 DMSI intended snipee when I first started. It's gone completely backwards with her, massive regression. She is Asian, I remember Shannon speaking of their supposed inhibition about sexuality, but she dresses a bit flamboyant at times and works out a lot, has a great body and knows it. So I don't know how much inhibition she has about that. And, given her behaviour, I just find it hard to believe she's someone so attracted to me she can't even function normally like before and acts like she can't stand me. When other girls around me react normal and initiate hugging etc. with me. And they're attractive to me, but not as much as her, so I don't think she's so taken by me she can't be normal, when she'd have massive options. So strange overall, it doesn't make sense to me.
I texted T in fact, around the same time I texted S the other day. It was the same kind of message as S's. Fun, light, flirty, but for T's also a bit apologetic I had to leave early from her on Saturday night. Nothing weird or whatever. I haven't texted S or T in a long time. I saw T on Saturday night for awhile, maybe 1.5-2 hours total I was there, it was all good. But no response to my text. I know it's her number. S and T don't know each other, so it isn't like one told the other I was talking to both and they got mad or something. I will see her on Saturday again, and I'm sure it will be the same stuff, despite the no text response. Very odd behaviour. I don't understand why, or what to do about it, I find it bewildering.
S replied once in an engaged way, asked me for an update on how I'm doing. Now S I haven't seen in person in a long time, which makes it harder TO see her in person I've found with girls. I was happy she replied to me, I replied about 8 hours later when I saw the message, then asked where shes working now along side updating her on what I've been doing. I was thinking then to maybe arrange a meet soon after she replied again with where she works and when etc., and no response, lol. Don't understand that either, typical confusion sensation.
On both accounts, I was a bit surprised by the end result. But then the "this figures/as usual, they're impossible for me" stuff set in, and I felt a bit depressed etc. for awhile to be honest. I was a bit concerned that if they responded badly, it would bother me and looks like that happened. Oh well, I felt happy and excited and empowered to text both that day out of nowhere like that. I just wished it would've had a better result than the usual confusion, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration and anger/resentment stuff.
Anyway, I said if anything relevant happened when I texted S, I would update. More happened after that post, to do with S, and T, so here it is.
