(05-06-2017, 09:59 PM)WIP68 Wrote: I very much enjoyed reading your last post Duke, especially your views regarding sex.
I'd like to make a request. If you are in the mood and/or up for it, I'd like to hear your views regarding love.
Some of the random thoughts/questions that went through my mind after reading your post were:
-what's your definition of love right now in this moment ?
-has your idea of it changed over time?
-now that you view women as you do, do you think you could love them (I know how silly this question sounds, but I think you get where I coming from)?
-you have a great relationship with K, to what degree does your definition apply to her?
-what are your views on love as it relates to marriage (a societal norm)?
-do you want one woman in your life that you can love and that loves you?
-how important is trust in your long term relationships, if you indeed want one?
Those are just a few questions that arose in my mind. I have a lot more incubating, but I think you get the general idea.
I'd be interested in hearing any and all thoughts and opinions that you have on the subject.
EDIT:
If I could distill my questions down, I think want I really want to know is your perspective on love, as it applies to societal construct and whether or not, or to what degree, it is used as a tool of control.
As you become more surgically intimate with your reptilian brain, do you feel a distance between your prior (programmed?) belief, or understanding of love, and your current belief, if there is indeed a difference?
We all think we know what love is, but do we really? Maybe, at the level we are at, it's just a notion we cling to, to feel safe and secure.
I don't know....
So, I had a lot of time today to think about this question, and I went back some over my years and experiences with women to come to wherever I am today. I also had some realizations about DMSI in and of itself.
Let's start with how do I view love.
So, this might go against what is being preached out in the world now about masculinity and how feminism has eroded society. I think the idea of love has become a hallmark greeting card, but, even with that being the case, I think it's an incredibly important experience to have.
When I started my first version of DMSI, which was 2.3, I introduced myself to this forum and talked about some of my background. One of the things I said was, I have already had some amazing relationships, and was now ready to try out other aspects of life (I'm paraphrasing).
And that was the truth. I have had some incredible experiences in the relationship department. Whatever the reasons were for it not working out between me and them, I have nothing but fond memories of most of the women I dated. I was very, very fortunate for having the relationships I had.
It's also because I have had those experiences, had those feelings of intimacy, that I signed up for DMSI. I didn't know what I would be getting myself into with DMSI when I first started; I did it because it was an experimental sub and I fancy myself a good lab rat.
As I continued with using DMSI, the one thing I always stated in my journals, and this is true for how I approached the sub itself, was I just did a set it and forget it. I never looked for external validation from women. That's why I rarely post about an IOI that I received from a woman. It was only when I would have an exacting connection did I write about the experiences. Hence, most of my journals before 3.1 were mostly focused on my internal feelings and changes.
Now, with 3.1, all of those changes have come to a head and I'm executing in a merciless way.
But, let me take a step back and refer to my post from yesterday. When I read that post from a purely intellectual standpoint, I honestly think "what an asshole." I slept with three different women over the course of a week, one of whom is going to be married in 2 weeks, another who I met at a rooftop bar on Friday night, and finally, one whom I've known for over 20 years.
It's especially easy to judge the woman whose going to be married in 2 weeks, and use that as a poster board for labeling why women can't be trusted and love is a farce.
But, the truth of the matter is, who you love and who you f*ck, aren't the same - sometimes they can be, but, more often they aren't.
What I've come to realize in my current state is that the deeper DMSI takes me into that reptilian portion of my brain, the more the norms of society make less sense to me. This is bad for two reasons.
One, I might be clinically insane.
Two, I am effectively going against the very things that most societies hold in value.
But, that's an overly dramatized statement. The reality is, I'm cutting through the shit to feed a physical need of mine. Ultimately, that's all there is to it.
How does this affect my future relationships and views on love? Do I believe love still exists?
You asked me particularly about K and how I see that relationship.
I've known K for almost 20 years. She's seen me at my best, she's seen me at my worst. I absolutely love K. But, I don't love her in a romantic, chivalrous, kind of way. If that makes sense.
I love her, like I love all of my really close friends, which I only have a very few of.
Hence, why I said that when we have sex, it's just a physical thing for the both of us. This could be because both she and I are at an age where things like that are possible. I'm in my 40's now, and so is K. K is also unique in many ways because she's Korean, grew up in Korea and came here to study much later in her life.
Unlike most Korean women, she never got married. Her family gave up on her and let her be at some point. She's financially and professionally successful, she's had plenty of boyfriends in the past, but she likes the idea of being free.
So, for both her and I, this works. We both know that anything can change at any moment, so we enjoy what we have for now.
This is part of the reason why I said in my earlier post that I don't judge myself and I don't judge the other person.
Honestly, when you take away all of the labels, like being an alpha or a feminist, and all that other shit, you're left with just a person. Strip away all of the intellectual beliefs, reasoning, order, and you have the most basic needs and desires. Everyone has them.
I find that the more I function in that mindset, the easier it becomes and things just happen.
All of that being said, let me make a controversial statement now and say that I don't think just anyone should run DMSI.
If the end goal of DMSI is that we reach the pivotal point of going down to our base needs and it just becomes sex; while on some level it's amazing to think that you can have plenty of sex with extremely attractive women, pretty soon you'd have to ask yourself if this is all there is.
A lot of the younger guys on this forum like Eternity and Aventus, have already moved on from DMSI. And, I honestly think that was better for them.
It's one thing to come to a sub like this after you've experienced a real relationship and grown with someone. It's another thing if this is what you walk into in your life at an early age. Because, I think it will skew how you live the rest of your life. And, I think you'd potentially be denying yourself the possibility of something beautiful happening in the future.
RT's a great example of this. Despite the fact that he's using DMSI, the man clearly loves his family and his wife. I consider him one of the foundational posters on this forum for that reason. His posts help keep me grounded.
Dr. Strangelove is another one. He also loves his family, and he made a choice long ago to play life on his own terms, but at the end of the day, he goes home to his wife and children.
I respect that. In Strangelove's case, he has the best of both worlds.
Ben also wrote several posts about how he prefers the women he's intimate with to also be the same women that he can connect with at an emotional level.
Honestly, these are the guys whose posts I often look at and use to measure my own current mental state.
At the end of the day, DMSI will not bring you love. Yes, there is healing in this sub, but the end goal of DMSI is not love, it's sex. Which means, no matter how much you heal, you're healing to get to a point where you have lots of sex. DMSI will flood your life with more pussy than you know what to do with, but, that's a fleeting momentary thing.
This isn't to say that I don't want guys like Travis or you to execute the goals. I hope you do and I hope you get laid a lot. There's something to be said about being young and having a ton of beautiful women quivering at the tip of your finger.
I just think that if you're asking about love, you should absolutely give yourself a chance to experience it, if you haven't already. It should be a healthy love, not an obsessive one. Relationships can be an amazingly transformational experience.
I'm not sure if I answered your question, but, that's how I feel about it.
Now, it's your turn, what do you think about love?
EDIT: I actually don't know how young or old you are, so I shouldn't make an assumption either way. But, in the end, I hope I answered your question some. Looking back at it, I don't feel like I did. However, I would like to read your thoughts.
