(05-02-2017, 02:25 AM)Zane Wrote: My whole life I have lived as "nice guy". I helped people even if they didn't helped me back. They use to make fun of me and I thought that I was important to them. But I was only fooling myself..Someone would ask me for help and I couldn't even say "No" and next thing you know I will be doing stuff which wouldn't even want to. I thought that I wast doing a good thing by going against my wishes and intentions to help someone..
This was since my childhood. No one in my family is like this except my mom and I know that I inherited this from her but I was a level beyond that..
They use to call me "Nice kid" or "Nice Guy".. Being called nice is like saying that u are so weak that even if they hurt u.. You don't have enough strength to fight back... Its a taboo..
My friends were only with me cause they all had their selfish reason.
I relate to most of this. I'm a nice guy myself This is the way I look at it tho. I love that part of me. Well... I used to hate it. But I've come to the realization that the world needs nice guys.
It's just what you make of it. People will tell you that "nice guys finish last". I disagree with that. Being a nice guy hasn't stopped me from having good relationships with people, it hasn't stopped me from having girlfriends either And every single one of them has told me that I'm a sweet loving person. Because I am. And that's mainly because I'm nice and I try not to hurt people's feelings and do good as much as I can. But there's a couple of things I can't stand, and if anyone exhibits them, I'm history. Unwarranted disrespect and treating me like a doormat. Any of these two things happen, they'll get a warning. It happens again, I'll drop the relationship and never look back (which would suck balls of course... but it's the right thing to do for the long run). I'm so much ingrained in that state that no one has exhibited that behaviour in ages.
So, like I said. It's what you make of it. Nice guys that allow themselves to be treated as doormats will finish last. Having said that, you will probably have to go through the hate part and trying to be an asshole/jerk part before coming to an acceptance. I didn't go through that phase myself, I watched a friend do it tho, and I learned from that.
Also, on a side note, have you taken a MBTI personality test? We seem to be the same type (Or very close)
INFJ