Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Captain's Log: 04022017 (Beware wall of Text ahead. Will get to the external stuff further down)

Well, been a long long time and have so much to go over. First off to answer Darkness's question, "sort of". Lets just say I have a cocktail (4 ingredients) that I do use every week to 2 weeks. I will keep the contents of that cocktail to myself though since as I will agree with Shannon and try not to promote any of this on the forums. I will only be telling one person, and that will be through PM. So don't bother PMing me for the info.

Anyway, before I get to the good stuff I did have a lot of changes on a bloom during spring break. I spent spring break in Texas with my father, which so happened to be when my birthday took place (turned 29 on the 23rd). Anyway, during that time it feels like the Anger, hate and rage I had carried all these years just upped and vanished for the most part. I just became "Zen" (This is partly why I changed my avatar to Morgan from The Walking Dead). Basically, I realized that anger, rage and hatred are just a waste of time and energy. MHS had healed the promoter of these emotions when it healed my brain of PTSD but DMSI has really dug deep. I think about the almost 15 years I wasted on these emotions. If I had spent all that energy on something like self development or making money I would be in a way better place now. But "it is what it is", and funny enough that has been my mantra now.

If something bad happens it just "is what it is". I don't dwell on the bad or evil in this world. Its funny, I thought I had an idea of Zen before but now that I have actually experienced it I realized just how wrong I was. I will try to explain it but I feel like words fail it unless you experience it yourself. From my experience you simply "acknowledge" that both darkness/evil and light/good happen and exist in this world. From there you have a choice, though you mostly want to promote the good through your actions, and experiences but foremost of all through your mindset because from your mindset your actions and experiences will follow. I found it interesting, I tried to think back over the last couple of weeks of anything bad happening to me and to my surprised I came up with nothing, nada! I realized that just as Shannon said as my mindset changed (or frequency changed) my experience started to change. I realized at work I hadn't even ran into one bad customer since I had started this zen mindset. This is surprising because before I couldn't go one day without running into a bad customer. Now it seems like all my co-workers get all the bad customers while all those rude customers avoid me or quite themselves down when in my presence.

One other thing I have also realized, the more anger you have the more experiences you will have that will feed that anger. Anger (along with hatred and its stronger version, rage) is a poisonous supernatural entity. It keeps on asking for more sacrifice and more tribute while giving peanuts in return. It always tries to fool you that you need it and that you need its power, even though what power it gives to you is pitiful compared to the power it takes for itself. It will give you that "tiny" portion of power while it takes everything from you in exchange (relationships, finances, etc). I do believe there is a thing such as justified anger, what isn't justified though is holding on to that anger no matter the circumstances. I mean really, who is really being hurt by you holding to some anger about what someone did to you a year ago? It certainly ain't hurting them, they aren't some how receiving your "anger" telepathically and suffering for it are they? Nope, only person suffering from it is you and the anger will try to convince you that you need "it". I do believe this "Zen" state I was in was a transitional period and was showing me that I was close to being done with healing. First you acknowledge that there is both good and bad events that happen, basically being at a neutral point of "it is what it is" and just have this peace and serenity about everything that happens. Then the point of being above "Zen" is moving your mindset towards the good. Basically your moving from neutrality and "building" positively on top of it.

I feel like I'm at that point now. I did get to some point where I got some resistance and it shortly took a hold to make me do something that was self sabotaging "but" whatever Shannon put in 3.1. is amazing. It feels like the sub can see into the future and see what moves the "resistant" part of the subconscious is going to make and then position itself to take advantage of that move. Its like Chess is being played in my subconscious, the sub is looking 10 moves ahead and the resistant part is only seeing 2 or 3 moves ahead. This is absolutely amazing. Also, the "bridge" between my conscious and subconscious has become "clearer" so I can see this battle taking place in my mind but also the move and counter moves taking place in "reality". For some reason I find this all fascinating. The moves, counter-moves, the calculating and the strategy, I find it all interesting. I have personally seen the counter-moves the sub has done and have been in awe at it.

Anyway, on to the external results though. Mind you I did get some really good external results on Friday at work but I won't go into those as much even though they were great ( I might only mention a few if they give background for what happened today). Anyway, I went through the bloom today but this bloom was different. Usually if I get a bloom I get the results all at once, today though it happened incrementally over the course of a couple of hours and it felt more "natural" and permanent in a way. One other thing I should mention, about the "bridge", its like now I have some "Mind reading" ability. I can sense a couple of things: What someones intentions are, how are they feeling, what they are going to do or what they want to do but fear doing it, can "feel" what they are going through even from very far away, and interpret a lot of other things. Usually now its got to the point where its not just an intuition, its like I'm reading their energy somehow and interpreting it. Also, the part of the subconscious co-operating with the sub will literally send words to flash across my mind (Shy, afraid, intimidated, trying to attract me to make a move, hes trying to mate guard, showing me respect, etc). Anyway, I will break this into sections to make it easier starting with customer reactions and then the main girls/women at my job that are being affect:

Customers: Seen some interesting ones so far and there's been so many I can't recount them all. A lot of them have been either been interested but shy or too intimidated to try anything (mostly the married/have a boyfriend or aren't confidant in their looks type crowd of women) to acting really, really nice to the point of bending over backwards. As a reminder I work as customer service at different departments in the theater and with the last group I mentioned its like they are the ones that feel "honored" that I'm serving them. A few notable mentions though: I serve this one Chinese woman in the concession stand this morning and shes acting all goofy and funny. I assume shes really, really attracted and doesn't know how to get me to return the attraction so she acts socially awkward in a funny way. One from Friday that has her husband standing next to her ask me for a item, then ask me for another item, and then a third time ask me for another item. Her husband has this blank face on the entire time. I get off work on Friday night and head towards the escalator and see this woman with these big breast heading towards the escalator as well with her boyfriend or husband. I feel the Aura project and we lock eyes for a moment. I get on the escalator and see her glance at me again from the side as she gets on the escalator. I automatically she slightly starts beta-zing her husband within earshot. I kind of laugh at that.

Aly: Coworker who most of it is intuition and words from my subconscious that inform me about her though I'm seeing somethings. I've noticed over the past few days that she has been very helpful and been really nice when saying greetings to me. I think shes holding back a little because she has a boyfriend. Aura Analysis: moderate amount of aura unless she gets hit with short range sniper. The short ranger sniper seems to intimidate her somewhat and makes her close up a bit. (Got hit Friday to today)

unknown: Another coworker who only just started working here a few weeks ago and I don't know her name yet. She is Hispanic. For some reason when I see her I think Michelle Rodriguez from the fast and furious movies. She looks good and has a good body though it feels like she has a "rough" edge to her and she has a slight masculinity to her as well. We've only talked a few times , mostly me helping her with something, but I can tell shes attracted. She just doesn't know how to go about doing something about it and mostly results to asking me to help her with something. On a relevant note, the way I know she or any other woman is getting hit with the aura or is interested is by eye contact. When I make eye contact with a women who is being affected with the aura and is getting attracted there is this "intense" kind of energy that happens with that eye contact. When it happens She either looks away or we both look away because of the intensity of it. Aura analysis: Getting hit with the higher end of the spectrum of the aura (Got hit on Friday to today).


Also Unknown: Another new co-worker. Can definitely tell shes attracted and is shy and intimidated. I can also tell when I'm around she really wants to say something to me but can't find the courage to do it 90% of the time. When did talk a little bit on Friday night and today but I could tell she was scared to do even that much. Aura Analysis: Get hit with the high end of the aura.

C: Co-worker who's been working there for a while. Rarely says Hi to me but started to do so. I'm not as interested consciously but subconsciously who knows. Shes a short girl with with a high pitched girly tone to her. As you can imagine, doesn't have much of a body but she seems to have a generally nice demeanor. Besides the actually greeting me now I did notice something on Friday night. She was pushing a cart right in front of me (only a few feet at best) and while she was kind of pushing it she was bouncing on her feet which caused her butt (or what little of what she had for one) to jiggle in front of me, obviously not a coincidence. Aura Analysis: Moderate amount of aura being projected but not consciously interested that much.

L: Lower manager who has worked there for quite a long time and is very, very good looking. She also has curves in all the right places and nice pair of boobs. This one is going to take a little bit of time (Something my subconscious has told me) or it might have more of a break-thru during 3.2. She seems to get hit with the short range sniper massively and I see some results from it (doing something in my presence every once in a while or see her glance at me) but like I said subconscious says its going to take a while (with 3.1. at least) and I know why. Shes very nice and I get the feeling she would treat any guy shes with like a king. The problem is that the last guy she was with cheated on her (Don't know why, if you knew this girl's personality and how good she looks you would think the guy was an idiot). Since then she has kind of sworn off relationships. So I think shes kind of backing off from too much expression of it because shes been hurt before. So she needs to work through the past emotional pain first. Aura Analysis: High end of the spectrum for sure. I literally feel my body shake and have energy run through it when she is around.

E: In high school but will be graduating soon and therefore shall be "legal" (Technically already legal since shes 18 already). Definitely getting hit with the aura but I feel she is intimidated, and not sure if she should act on any of it. I remember I walked in the break-room without saying Hi to her and took out my phone. She then said, "Darth... what the hell! No hello?". She seemed to be very animated when she was talking to me that time. Other times she just says a quick hello like she is acting very, very shy. She didn't get cheated on but a guy she knew and liked had to choose between E and another girl. He choose another girl. I think because of that shes kind of uneasy about jumping into anything. Aura analysis: something in between moderate and high end of the aura.

S: Shes a coworker and friend of E. Hasn't said that much to me but I have noticed her glancing at me several times while in the break room while on her phone. Has a boyfriend who works there so probably not acting on it out of that. Aura analysis: Moderate to slightly above moderate.

R: Coworker who is definitely getting hit by the aura. I started noticing it on Friday night. Was sitting in the break room with R, 2 other girls and 2 other guys. At first nothing, but after a while I started noticing the multiple glances and eye contacts. There was another time I was sweeping around her register and in the back of my head I got "Shes getting hit hard". She all of a sudden told the guy on a register across from her that she would be right back and fled towards the back near the break room (She doesn't want to do something she'll regret, she has a boyfriend that works there). A little on I have go by there and I just see her standing near the break room like she was shocked about something and trying to calm herself down. I also noticed the eye contact when I passed by, "Scared". Later that night she says, "Well, look who it is" and I just say high. I noticed while I'm about to past by her that she laughs kind of awkwardly like she was trying really hard to get my attention. Today, I noticed some of the same stuff, didn't try to talk to me but I kept on locking eye with her at times and I saw "nervousness, scared, but attracted". Aura analysis: High end of the spectrum for sure.

I: Now this one takes the cake. Not legal, yet but will be in like 2 or 3 months. Shes only been working here for a couple of weeks. Is very shy, with me at least, and doesn't seem to want to progress anything unless you make a move. I noticed right away when I saw her after my new found "powers" were acquired that sometimes it felt the like the aura powered up massively and my heart would skip a beat (corny I know). I noticed the glances at first and that's all I got on Friday night besides her asking me something about a event at work. I felt like she really wanted to talk to me at times but couldn't get over the shyness. Today though oh my word. I just started making funny jokes and comments here and there since we were working in the same section and she seemed to open up after that. It seemed to progress really really fast. Notable things she said that indicated interest to me:

"Whats your sign?"
"How old are you?" etc

She seemed really interested in my answering her "screening" questions. I also mentioned a few things about my income (apparently the autopilot was gearing me towards this because she needs the attraction along with a "provider" type feel to her partner). Having the attraction with the provider type feel must have sent her over the edge because she suddenly said she had to use the bathroom. I heard my subconscious over the bridge: "Shes going to go clean herself up (Masturbate)". I was a little shocked by this statement but not too much. When she came back I locked eyes with her and it was like she went into deer in the headlights and then smiled broadly afterwards. She also asked if I was married (another screening thing) of which I said no and she said (surprised), "Aww why not?". I told her I almost got married but the woman turned out to be really bossy, to which she said "Oh". Another question, "Are you looking for a romantic partner?". I said yeah. She said, "Awwww (girly tone)". Now here's the interesting thing I sense she kind of lost interest when I said I didn't live alone and with my mother but my subconscious basically said, "Don't worry about it I will take care of that". I went on my last break before I left. I literally felt my subconscious project a certain part of the aura. I'm pretty darn certain this was the "reset" part of the aura so he reset her attraction level to before she found out I wasn't living alone and on top of that projected even more of the aura to her on top of that (I'm guessing short range sniper except for I was seeing her in my mind's eye I guess). I felt over the distance that she was getting hit massively with the aura, it was ridiculous. Aura Analysis: definitely very high end of the spectrum next to L.

M: coworker who I see more as a friend or sister than romantic interest. Getting hit with the aura and tried getting my attention but didn't give her much. I noticed afterwards that she was acting distant because she was jealous that I was giving the other girls more attention instead of her so she was acting like a brat. She also have very low self esteem and has insecurity issues, that's probably why I'm getting that response. Don't really care because not consciously interested really. she can sit and sulk for all I care.

J: Coworker who I pick on and am not interested in consciously at all. Been acting generally the same but feel there is something "different" between us.

Anyway, that's about it for that. Other things to note, wasn't sure if I should mention this but I feel like I should be transparent so Shannon can gleam something from these things. I'm pretty sure I have two long range snipers. Don't ask me how but I can see it in my minds eye. On top of that despite all this sniping going on, my eating habits have gone down back to normal pre-DMSI levels. If I do get hungry its ravenous but at the same time its no different than how much I normally eat. This gets me to another thing that probably influences the first two things I mentioned. My subconscious seems to have accessed some very powerful source of energy that is fueling all this. I'm pretty certain what it is but It has to do with Rule #4 so can't go into detail. Lastly, based on a experience I had I am pretty much convince there is a super or collective conscious that is higher than even the subconscious. Anyway, thanks for reading my big wall of text. Would have made it shorter but so much to go over. You all have a nice day. (Sorry for any typos, too lazy to go through all that to correct them).

P.S. Forgot to mention, all these results were from Version A. Based on this, I'm pretty sure about 85% through the healing because the results I'm getting is something that I would expect to happen while running B.