I stopped listening to version 3.0.1 on 15/01 in anticipation for the release of 3.1. However, I jumped back on it around 02/02 when I learned the release date of 3.1 had been postponed. I had been listening to subs for just under a year and it felt weird to go for long periods without listening to one. I guess it’s like sex. Guys who are yet to loss their v-cards, like myself, are more comfortable going through long periods of drought than guys who have lost it.
I noticed nothing outstanding during my second short run of 3.0.1, except for a day when I was out with a friend to have coffee and this guy, sitting two tables away from us with his friend, kept staring at me like I was with hitting on his daughter. Weird shit I tell ya.
I hopped off 3.0.1 again on 16/02 to give myself a break before 3.1. I started listening to 3.1 on 03/03.
I have been listening exclusively to the trickling stream hybrid since I started using DMSI. I had the urge to switch to a masked track on 3.0.1 but I thought it might have been resistance so I stuck with the hybrid. I had the same urge to use the masked version when I started 3.1 and I decided to give it a try after a week of hybrid.
For the effects, sorry to disappoint but no jiggy jiggy yet. However, I had a major breakthrough in a legal issue I had been battling for years. I can’t go into more details on that. I don’t know if it is DMSI related, but part of me think it is.
One of my housemates can’t keep his mouth shut. Damn! He normally likes to talk but it’s become insane since I started 3.1. I now try to avoid meeting him in the communal area. He also buys stuff for me when he goes shopping without me asking.
Another housemate brought his girl two days ago, and it triggered something buried within me. I became jealous and angry for no reason. Scratch that. I don’t know what the fuck I was feeling. At one point it felt like jealousy as he is considerably younger than me. Then it felt like fear/anxiety as I will be doing the same thing soon. Then it felt like anger for me being a “church boy” and not taking action earlier to lose my v-card despite the opportunities I had. I just cannot put my finger on it.
One week of the hybrid being over, I switched to the masked trickling stream yesterday. Oh boy, things went haywire! The weird feeling I had the day before went on steroids, and as if that was not enough, I was exhausted as fuck! I have never really experienced exhaustion on DMSI like others have. Instead my hours of sleep was shortened on the previous version and I did not lack energy for the rest of the day. This was not the case yesterday. I felt like I just came back from a hard workout. Eh... not really. I don't know how I felt. It felt like I was walking in another body or another reality. Just absolutely not my "normal" self.
To feel better, I tried to consciously tell myself healing was taking place subconsciously. Nope that did not work. I just felt like shit, and could do nothing about it.
Later in the evening I went for a walk while listening to 2Pac’s "Hit ‘em Up" full volume on repeat. Now that felt so good!!! It also helped me see that there’s so much repressed emotions inside of me. At one point I felt like I should roar like King Kong and let it all out. This is something I should definitely do. I once watched a video of Tony Robbins in which he tells a man he is a lion walking around like a sheep that’s why he was more womanly than his wife. He asked the man to roar and let the lion out, which he did, and would not stop roaring lmao. His wife later testified that her husband was another person that night. I wish I could find a place to do that. Maybe I will join a boxing club when I have mo' money. This way I can let it all out physically as well.
I felt better this morning, but only after I listened to Kanye’s “POWER” on repeat. It’s amazing what music does to the mind. Especially music from someone I hated initially. Now I understand him when he says his music is not him boasting about his achievements, but an encouragement to his fans to go out and make it big. (Something like that. I will have to search for the right quote).
ION, I was reluctant to update my journal because I thought I had nothing to write about. lol.
I noticed nothing outstanding during my second short run of 3.0.1, except for a day when I was out with a friend to have coffee and this guy, sitting two tables away from us with his friend, kept staring at me like I was with hitting on his daughter. Weird shit I tell ya.
I hopped off 3.0.1 again on 16/02 to give myself a break before 3.1. I started listening to 3.1 on 03/03.
I have been listening exclusively to the trickling stream hybrid since I started using DMSI. I had the urge to switch to a masked track on 3.0.1 but I thought it might have been resistance so I stuck with the hybrid. I had the same urge to use the masked version when I started 3.1 and I decided to give it a try after a week of hybrid.
For the effects, sorry to disappoint but no jiggy jiggy yet. However, I had a major breakthrough in a legal issue I had been battling for years. I can’t go into more details on that. I don’t know if it is DMSI related, but part of me think it is.
One of my housemates can’t keep his mouth shut. Damn! He normally likes to talk but it’s become insane since I started 3.1. I now try to avoid meeting him in the communal area. He also buys stuff for me when he goes shopping without me asking.
Another housemate brought his girl two days ago, and it triggered something buried within me. I became jealous and angry for no reason. Scratch that. I don’t know what the fuck I was feeling. At one point it felt like jealousy as he is considerably younger than me. Then it felt like fear/anxiety as I will be doing the same thing soon. Then it felt like anger for me being a “church boy” and not taking action earlier to lose my v-card despite the opportunities I had. I just cannot put my finger on it.
One week of the hybrid being over, I switched to the masked trickling stream yesterday. Oh boy, things went haywire! The weird feeling I had the day before went on steroids, and as if that was not enough, I was exhausted as fuck! I have never really experienced exhaustion on DMSI like others have. Instead my hours of sleep was shortened on the previous version and I did not lack energy for the rest of the day. This was not the case yesterday. I felt like I just came back from a hard workout. Eh... not really. I don't know how I felt. It felt like I was walking in another body or another reality. Just absolutely not my "normal" self.
To feel better, I tried to consciously tell myself healing was taking place subconsciously. Nope that did not work. I just felt like shit, and could do nothing about it.
Later in the evening I went for a walk while listening to 2Pac’s "Hit ‘em Up" full volume on repeat. Now that felt so good!!! It also helped me see that there’s so much repressed emotions inside of me. At one point I felt like I should roar like King Kong and let it all out. This is something I should definitely do. I once watched a video of Tony Robbins in which he tells a man he is a lion walking around like a sheep that’s why he was more womanly than his wife. He asked the man to roar and let the lion out, which he did, and would not stop roaring lmao. His wife later testified that her husband was another person that night. I wish I could find a place to do that. Maybe I will join a boxing club when I have mo' money. This way I can let it all out physically as well.
I felt better this morning, but only after I listened to Kanye’s “POWER” on repeat. It’s amazing what music does to the mind. Especially music from someone I hated initially. Now I understand him when he says his music is not him boasting about his achievements, but an encouragement to his fans to go out and make it big. (Something like that. I will have to search for the right quote).
ION, I was reluctant to update my journal because I thought I had nothing to write about. lol.
Confront your problems. Walk away from BS. Seek wisdom to know the difference.
