03-10-2017, 01:49 PM
Catman & Chaos, I feel you've done a huge service to the members of this forum by opening up about your experiences. It's nice to know you're not alone, and surely there are others on this forum that have experienced similar things, but are unwilling to admit it publicly, due to G/S/F around the very touchy subject.
I had a similar experience with my ex fiance. We had a pregnancy scare one time (7 years ago now, wow the time has flown!). I ended up taking a lot of drugs and had a blackout, but upon coming back to consciousness from the blackout.... She looked like she was in pain, holding her gut. After inquiring what had happened, she told me she asked me to punch her to do a ghetto abortion. I didn't believe i would ever do such a thing, but she insisted that I did. By the way she looked, I could only believe that I indeed did it. The trauma from that whole experience carried with me for many years, and only after E2 can I safely say I am 90-95% over the notion that I, with my own two hands, end a life that I had created. It was 6 years until I could begin to trust women again.... 6 years of not letting women get close to me, for fear of what they can make me do, and fear of what I could do.
I'd also been raped (by a man) when I was 19 years old, when I was living a dangerous lifestyle. and it was someone I considered to be a friend.
I also had a homosexual experience when I was drunk once.
Plus the few girlfriends I'd had in high school that didn't give 2 shits about how I felt.
You can bet your damn life I had deep resentment towards women, and confusion about my sexuality and sex for a long time. The G/S/F surrounding it all kept me trapped for YEARS. Until I'd start hearing stories from people in my life that have been through similar things. The more I talked about these events to other people, and hearing that other people have been through similar experiences, I felt the prison walls start deteriorating. Now, I no longer hide behind walls of G/S/F surrounding those subjects. It's a part of my story, and I own those parts of my story. There's a liberation that comes with being transparent to understanding individuals.
Subliminals have been a monumental help with getting over that shit too. I think with this new aspect of healing, we'll be healing from different avenues. I thought 3.0 was pretty comprehensive with its clearing/healing modules. Looks like 3.1 blows 3.0's healing out of the water.
I had a similar experience with my ex fiance. We had a pregnancy scare one time (7 years ago now, wow the time has flown!). I ended up taking a lot of drugs and had a blackout, but upon coming back to consciousness from the blackout.... She looked like she was in pain, holding her gut. After inquiring what had happened, she told me she asked me to punch her to do a ghetto abortion. I didn't believe i would ever do such a thing, but she insisted that I did. By the way she looked, I could only believe that I indeed did it. The trauma from that whole experience carried with me for many years, and only after E2 can I safely say I am 90-95% over the notion that I, with my own two hands, end a life that I had created. It was 6 years until I could begin to trust women again.... 6 years of not letting women get close to me, for fear of what they can make me do, and fear of what I could do.
I'd also been raped (by a man) when I was 19 years old, when I was living a dangerous lifestyle. and it was someone I considered to be a friend.
I also had a homosexual experience when I was drunk once.
Plus the few girlfriends I'd had in high school that didn't give 2 shits about how I felt.
You can bet your damn life I had deep resentment towards women, and confusion about my sexuality and sex for a long time. The G/S/F surrounding it all kept me trapped for YEARS. Until I'd start hearing stories from people in my life that have been through similar things. The more I talked about these events to other people, and hearing that other people have been through similar experiences, I felt the prison walls start deteriorating. Now, I no longer hide behind walls of G/S/F surrounding those subjects. It's a part of my story, and I own those parts of my story. There's a liberation that comes with being transparent to understanding individuals.
Subliminals have been a monumental help with getting over that shit too. I think with this new aspect of healing, we'll be healing from different avenues. I thought 3.0 was pretty comprehensive with its clearing/healing modules. Looks like 3.1 blows 3.0's healing out of the water.
