03-09-2017, 07:08 PM
Damn, man. That's deep. I totally missed that post about what that chick did to you. It's so ridiculous how a person can just ruin someone else's life in a moment and just move on like nothing ever happened.
I'm a little triggered by your response. There's something about this version that's bringing out a lot of deep, deep, deep pain -- stuff I didn't even know existed or even repressed. And it's making me REALLY empathetic and emotionally available. I've never felt this "open" before.
Truth of the matter is... I think we actually have a lot more in common than you realize and that's probably why I was being so hard on you before. Didn't want to face those issues.
I had a similar incident occur when I was in the 8th grade. I had to attend after school cleanup for some hoodrat sh*t I had done. There was a group of white and mexican girls that had it too. They decided that they were going to jump the [insert racial epithet here]. Unfortunately for them, chaos didn't give a f*ck even when he was a kid, so I fought back -- viciously.
The next day, one of the girls said she was pregnant and I kicked her in the stomach, causing her to have a miscarriage. That stupid lie followed me all the way to high school. I kept having people attack me. Teachers would write me up for the slightest thing. One time, I got written up for defending myself against the bully, and the assistant principal, who "knew" what I had done, colluded with my bus driver to get me expelled from school. The only thing that saved me was the fact that my Mother is often a force of nature and pretty much threatened to drag the principal to hell if she did.
I ended up being suspended for 16 days -- just enough for me to fail that semester and end up having to repeat the 9th grade. Not to mention the experiences I've had with women after that -- none of which give a damn because they can get away with it.
At a certain point -- that point being a few years ago when I was damn near suicidal -- I had to ask myself if I was going to continue allowing other people to dictate who and what I am. And when I said "no," that's when the chaosvrgn was born. It is my imperative now to live the life I want to live, and I make it well known to everyone -- including any woman who would try to destroy my life again -- that I'll burn everything down, her life and mine, before I let her get away with that sh*t. Because I'll always have the ability to rebuild (just as I'm doing now), because I'm better and worth more value.
I know that sounds messed up, but it is what it is. It's what I am and I'm happy with it. At some point, you have to face that same decision. Do you forever allow those people from the past to dictate your future, or will you actively decide who you are.
The next time you're attracted to a woman, just tell her -- yo, you're hot and I want to fuck you. She'll probably turn you down or shit test you, but at least you exerted your will rather than letting her control the frame. And if she dares try to destroy your business, let her know that the by the time the fight is over, even if she "wins," it's definitely not going to feel like that.
lol. Someone's probably thinking, "that started off emotional and ended on a wtf."
Well, I'll end it on my favorite Jean Luc Picard quote ever: "You can commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life."
I'm a little triggered by your response. There's something about this version that's bringing out a lot of deep, deep, deep pain -- stuff I didn't even know existed or even repressed. And it's making me REALLY empathetic and emotionally available. I've never felt this "open" before.
Truth of the matter is... I think we actually have a lot more in common than you realize and that's probably why I was being so hard on you before. Didn't want to face those issues.
I had a similar incident occur when I was in the 8th grade. I had to attend after school cleanup for some hoodrat sh*t I had done. There was a group of white and mexican girls that had it too. They decided that they were going to jump the [insert racial epithet here]. Unfortunately for them, chaos didn't give a f*ck even when he was a kid, so I fought back -- viciously.
The next day, one of the girls said she was pregnant and I kicked her in the stomach, causing her to have a miscarriage. That stupid lie followed me all the way to high school. I kept having people attack me. Teachers would write me up for the slightest thing. One time, I got written up for defending myself against the bully, and the assistant principal, who "knew" what I had done, colluded with my bus driver to get me expelled from school. The only thing that saved me was the fact that my Mother is often a force of nature and pretty much threatened to drag the principal to hell if she did.
I ended up being suspended for 16 days -- just enough for me to fail that semester and end up having to repeat the 9th grade. Not to mention the experiences I've had with women after that -- none of which give a damn because they can get away with it.
At a certain point -- that point being a few years ago when I was damn near suicidal -- I had to ask myself if I was going to continue allowing other people to dictate who and what I am. And when I said "no," that's when the chaosvrgn was born. It is my imperative now to live the life I want to live, and I make it well known to everyone -- including any woman who would try to destroy my life again -- that I'll burn everything down, her life and mine, before I let her get away with that sh*t. Because I'll always have the ability to rebuild (just as I'm doing now), because I'm better and worth more value.
I know that sounds messed up, but it is what it is. It's what I am and I'm happy with it. At some point, you have to face that same decision. Do you forever allow those people from the past to dictate your future, or will you actively decide who you are.
The next time you're attracted to a woman, just tell her -- yo, you're hot and I want to fuck you. She'll probably turn you down or shit test you, but at least you exerted your will rather than letting her control the frame. And if she dares try to destroy your business, let her know that the by the time the fight is over, even if she "wins," it's definitely not going to feel like that.
lol. Someone's probably thinking, "that started off emotional and ended on a wtf."
Well, I'll end it on my favorite Jean Luc Picard quote ever: "You can commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life."
