02-27-2017, 04:57 PM
(12-21-2016, 08:45 PM)eternity Wrote: So 3 weeks of A, minus that one random day of B = 20 days of A. Today I ran B. I'm going to run B for a week and re evaluate then.
I just want to call myself out on this because in the few journal entries before I posted this I clearly saw myself attempting to sabotage my progress by quitting the clearing prematurely. Despite being consciously aware of my inclination to run away from the clearing, I ran anyway. It's like I put up no real fight against running away. I just did it. And I was so oblivious to the fact that I ran -- it looked to me like I just wanted to test B. And if you had asked me then, I truly would did believe I just wanted to test B.
In retrospect, I wholeheartedly admit that I was BSing myself. Even though I still stuck with DMSI and didn't bail, I still ran from the clearing. I am calling myself out on this primarily so that you guys can call me out on it if it happens again on 3.1 (which I have a feeling I'm going to try to do). Secondarily, I am pointing this out so that you will potentially know what to look out for if and when it starts happening to you on 3.1.
After having that week where I cried multiple times a day, up until the apex of the clearing, I hit a major breakthrough. I was immediately aware of belief systems that I had incorporated into my being which were not native belief systems. I indoctrinated myself with beliefs I didn't align with. After that breakthrough, the goals of the program thoroughly took hold and I achieved sex.
It's VERY APPARENT now that I was indeed running from the clearing. but something nudged me back onto A to finish off that clearing.
tl;dr - beware of your own mind BSing you into believing rational reasons why running from 3.1 may sound like a good idea.
**This is purely speculation based on my observations of the temporal impact displacement phenomena:
Could it be that a lot of people pre-emptively switched to MHS because they subconsciously perceived DMSI 3.1 to be too scary? I think this is a very real possibility, if temporal impact displacement is indeed a real phenomena. If that is the case, it would make sense that people have already "run away" from 3.1. But again, this is pure speculation.
As far as my own TID, I can already feel some heaviness in my penis. The same type of heaviness that I felt while on 3.0.1.
And potential TID in the woman I plan to expose to 3.1:
A) She called me telling me that someone wanted to pay her for sex. Someone who was a massage client from before, but she had to let go from her life due to him wanting to pay for sex and her not wanting to cross that line.
B) She kept going on and on about how she wants to be "pure". (too much rule 4 stuff to go into detail so i won't)
so that leads me to wonder if she's getting TID effects with a manifestation (A) of someone from her past. And her preemptively attempting to run away from DMSI 3.1 (B)
