Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[DarthXedonias]

WTF... that's ***** that she said that about the text messages. That ***** makes me ***** angry! Hope you can get over it, I can only imagine how it affected you having that crap growing up.

Thanks. The good news is I kinda of reconnected with my Dad who lives in Houston, Texas at the moment. I kinda of wasn't talking to him their for a while because even though hes an Alpha, hes an needy alpha. As in he can be a little forceful, even to the point of controlling with trying to push his opinions on you but we cleared that up. Most likely I will be transferring to Houston so I can get away from here and get out of this state. I will probably be changing my Major as well from International relations with a minor in economics to Petroleum engineering with a minor in economics. I will probably still go for a MBA later on though, we shall see. There are other reasons why I will be doing this but will go into those reasons in the politics thread where it is appropriate.

There was one eye opening thing that my father revealed that really helps me understand the "why" to this situation. To understand some background information is needed. I'm the youngest of 3 children. Me and my older brother are from my Dad who lives in Texas. My older sister is from a guy that my mother met before my biological father. Then there is my Step father who died last year 2 days before my birthday. Apparently, the guy before my biological father use to "physically" beat my mother. I think this and the rape incident explains the "feminazi" attitude towards men. This also explains why my mother went with my step father. He was a submissive and weak beta male that she could easily control. He offered "safety" in her mind. My biological father though is a Needy alpha who wouldn't be pushed around and doesn't like it when you try to control him. Hes also very very opinionated and doesn't mind telling you how he sees things. I just found this interesting seeing as this makes all the pieces fit together as one might say.

On the DMSI front I noticed something that Illumi posted about. If I'm in my normal neutral/stoic mood I don't really see any results but If I'm in a very happy and IDGAF type mood I start seeing not a lot but "some" results. I was working yesterday with the chick that I use to be interested in. I made a joke referring to her and some other guy and just kept on railing on her about it throughout the day. I noticed she started to be somewhat affected during this time (more touching, etc). I noticed this most when it was almost time for me to go but I hadn't taking my last 15 min break (and neither had she) she actually offered to switch places with me helping customers so I could go take my final break, which would have meant she wouldn't have gotten her final 15 min break. She would have willing sacrificed her break time so I could have mine. I'm still not interested in her because her trying to put me in the "orbiter" position a few weeks ago but I still found this interesting. I think the reason I'm in this default "stoic" mood is because over the years I have seen people who are very emotional make very very stupid decisions. Therefore, I have associated not being calm and being emotional with making stupid, impulsive decisions. I think this is a major belief I'm going to have to work on.

Other than that, not much to report. Just waiting for 3.1 to come out. Hopefully it will be the version to finally push me over the edge. If not, I have decided once MLS 5.5G comes out I will probably use that so I can pass those engineering classes I need to pass in order to get into Petroleum engineering.