01-29-2017, 10:22 PM
I'm definitely working through something deep. Day two of the clearing as I'm listening to A right now(so much for wanting to be on #teambloom). I feel like I'm losing something close to me. Like my best friend is dead, or someone really close to me.. I keep yawning and my eyes are tearing up and the waterworks have begun again. That nice long run of B was smooth sailing and I forgot how emotionally taxing version A was. I'm crying as I write this. I wish I knew what I am working past. Wait, no I don't. I'd rather not have to live through it, whatever it is. Something tells me that it's an attachment to that girl though. I can't dodge my feelings for ever. I wanted to run A because of the clearing. I can't help but think the path to sexual abundance is a long and grueling one. Does it have to be? Well, growth isn't always pretty. It helps to internalize the fact that this pain is going towards a greater purpose. But this pain shouldn't go in vain, either. The actions I take should be bringing positive change to my life.
