01-07-2017, 12:16 PM
Crazy rant ahead. It'll resonate with some of you. It'll turn some of you off. Doesn't matter. We're here to document the effects of DMSI on our realities. And this is indeed a profound effect.
I am beginning to deeply understand the nature of this intense resistance that I'm experiencing on DMSI. Shannon was the first to call it, when he mentioned that he's finding himself extremely annoyed at the limitations -- both self-imposed and imposed upon him by other people -- that are manifesting in his life.
See, there's a side of me that I don't reveal to many people. I call it "the razor." It's something that developed early in my life, something that I've spent a significant amount of energy trying to suppress. Mainly because it terrifies other people when it arises and mainly because I have a hard time understanding and defining it myself. However, when I lose myself to it, I find that my personal successes skyrocket. The easiest way I can describe it is a state of mind in which I become extremely cold and calculating (but not necessary manipulative or immoral), detaching myself from emotional and societal considerations to observe the world in a completely objective matter. "The razor" allows me to see deep, hidden patterns in seemingly disparate pieces of data and make decisions based on what I'm seeing.
For example, when I'm engaged with the razor while seducing a woman, I don't see her as a fully realized human being. I see variables. Information. Things that allow me to build a mental model of this person. An IOI here. A slip of the tongue that reveals her inner state there. All these things allows me to build a "mental model" of her, and then I can proceed to act in a manner that will allow me to reach whatever goal I desire.
Look at my conversations with the Coach's Daughter. I've had people ask me if I'm making them up because they seem scripted. No, I'm not making them up. Ask the people in the Skype chat -- I show them the raw screenshots straight from my phone while the conversation is happening. The reason why it feels so scripted is because it IS. When I say something to her, I've already anticipated her likely response and prepared the next response, which will undoubtedly push me forward to my goal.
There will be those who read this and try to apply their personal views of morality to it. They will get annoyed and say things like, "It wouldn't work on me." They will attempt to suppress it through shame, or some other mechanism in an attempt of ego-preservation.
The fact of the matter is, the razor is a part of me. I suspect it's an INTP / ENTP thing. And I have allowed society suppress it for far too long. There are times when I feel downright guilty for being successful at something -- whether it's landing a new piece of ass or rocking someone in boxing class (the razor helps A LOT with fighting) -- because society has shamed me for engaging in an instinct that it feels is immoral.
There are times when I have allowed my personal boundaries to be walked over, stomped on because I felt the coldness rising in me and I opted to let myself be abused rather than unleashed that blade and go at it.
Society, you have been called out. Do not, for any reason try to wrap your arbitrary limitations around me because you cannot face your own fears. From the boxing coach that keeps trying to persuade me not to become a pro boxer because he's terrified that he doesn't have the skills to train a world-class fighter to the individuals that I keep encountering lately who try to call my professional competence into question to hide their own lack of ability.
If you try, there will be no holding back. I am integrating "the razor" as a healthy part of my everyday, normal psyche. Not something I "summon" when under stress and duress. And that means I'll be spitting daggers left and right to those who stand in my way.
I am beginning to deeply understand the nature of this intense resistance that I'm experiencing on DMSI. Shannon was the first to call it, when he mentioned that he's finding himself extremely annoyed at the limitations -- both self-imposed and imposed upon him by other people -- that are manifesting in his life.
See, there's a side of me that I don't reveal to many people. I call it "the razor." It's something that developed early in my life, something that I've spent a significant amount of energy trying to suppress. Mainly because it terrifies other people when it arises and mainly because I have a hard time understanding and defining it myself. However, when I lose myself to it, I find that my personal successes skyrocket. The easiest way I can describe it is a state of mind in which I become extremely cold and calculating (but not necessary manipulative or immoral), detaching myself from emotional and societal considerations to observe the world in a completely objective matter. "The razor" allows me to see deep, hidden patterns in seemingly disparate pieces of data and make decisions based on what I'm seeing.
For example, when I'm engaged with the razor while seducing a woman, I don't see her as a fully realized human being. I see variables. Information. Things that allow me to build a mental model of this person. An IOI here. A slip of the tongue that reveals her inner state there. All these things allows me to build a "mental model" of her, and then I can proceed to act in a manner that will allow me to reach whatever goal I desire.
Look at my conversations with the Coach's Daughter. I've had people ask me if I'm making them up because they seem scripted. No, I'm not making them up. Ask the people in the Skype chat -- I show them the raw screenshots straight from my phone while the conversation is happening. The reason why it feels so scripted is because it IS. When I say something to her, I've already anticipated her likely response and prepared the next response, which will undoubtedly push me forward to my goal.
There will be those who read this and try to apply their personal views of morality to it. They will get annoyed and say things like, "It wouldn't work on me." They will attempt to suppress it through shame, or some other mechanism in an attempt of ego-preservation.
The fact of the matter is, the razor is a part of me. I suspect it's an INTP / ENTP thing. And I have allowed society suppress it for far too long. There are times when I feel downright guilty for being successful at something -- whether it's landing a new piece of ass or rocking someone in boxing class (the razor helps A LOT with fighting) -- because society has shamed me for engaging in an instinct that it feels is immoral.
There are times when I have allowed my personal boundaries to be walked over, stomped on because I felt the coldness rising in me and I opted to let myself be abused rather than unleashed that blade and go at it.
Society, you have been called out. Do not, for any reason try to wrap your arbitrary limitations around me because you cannot face your own fears. From the boxing coach that keeps trying to persuade me not to become a pro boxer because he's terrified that he doesn't have the skills to train a world-class fighter to the individuals that I keep encountering lately who try to call my professional competence into question to hide their own lack of ability.
If you try, there will be no holding back. I am integrating "the razor" as a healthy part of my everyday, normal psyche. Not something I "summon" when under stress and duress. And that means I'll be spitting daggers left and right to those who stand in my way.
