Had an odd conversation with the Coach's daughter last night. Started out with her asking why I was being so blunt with her (as I mentioned above) to her telling me how soaked her panties were. She's gone full on crazy for me.
Convo:
Her: The part that's driving me crazy is that i can't have the full 'craziness' that is you. What makes me worthy enough of you being willing to take the time to show me the different sides of yourself?
Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSW2zeM3yLU (NOTE: This is the remix of "Odd Look" by Kavinsky. This version features The Weeknd. If you don't feel like listening, just know that it's a dirty, sexual song.)
Her: You have me at a loss for words. And I can't say you didn't warn me. You didn't lie. You told me exactly what to expect. (Note: She's referring to when I told her that it's dangerous to fall in love with me.) I'll talk to you later... I don't know what to say.
* I roll my eyes and go silent *
Her: "Your hesitation speaks to me louder than million words per minute" (NOTE: lyrics from the song)
Me: yea?
Her: What's that mean?
Me: It means the things you don't say or do, the things you claim you're not tells me more than what you actually say.
Her: So... You're reading me?
Me: For awhile now.
Her: Well, are you going to tell me what you see?
Me: Someone trying VERY hard to appear poised and in control, when in actuality, she's got a fire in her veins, secretly craving for someone to set it free... so it can consume them both.
Her: I have to go to bed now. I don't think it's a good idea for me and you to keep talking tonight. I starting to feel weird and I don't know what that is.
Me: I'm sure you'll figure it out.
* Silence for 30 minutes *
Her: I figured it out.
* Silence for 15 minutes *
Her: I had to touch myself twice.
On another note, my baby's mama is being incredibly friendly to me. Constantly texting me. Keeps trying to start conversations. When she was here over the holidays, she kept touching my arms, telling me how built I've become from boxing and how much weight I've lost.
At the family dinner, my mother saw us chatting in the corner and later, she said my baby's mama was falling for me again. Her husband's a cool cat. He's just beta as fuck and a little angsty. My mother is urging me not to be alone with her and also that the husband was making odd faces at us, like he was suspecting something...
F*CKING DMSI. Women trying to f*ck me for just existing. I ain't doing shit. I'm just existing. Now, if I could get the other parts of my life in order. F*ck. I'd love existing.
Oh.
Went to the boxing gym earlier. There's a room in the back with a few heavy bags for private training. Went there just to kick it with a friend of mine, do some speed bag drills and the such. When I got there, there was this 6.5/10 pretty Latina with an AMAZING, AMAZING ass back there with her son. The moment I walked in, she burst into smiles, started grooming her hair. And then, kept bending over multiple times in front of me to play with the bluetooth radio. Funny thing is, the radio is buttonless. You control it from an app on your phone. She was literally making up reasons to bend over in front of me. I appreciate it, random Latina chick.
The rest of the day has been filled with rage. Like Shannon said, it seems to be rage at limitations. My own, and what people have imposed on me. I just want a chill, relaxing and free life and it seems like this society is hell bent on denying you that. They just do whatever they can to make things difficult. But whatever.
Convo:
Her: The part that's driving me crazy is that i can't have the full 'craziness' that is you. What makes me worthy enough of you being willing to take the time to show me the different sides of yourself?
Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSW2zeM3yLU (NOTE: This is the remix of "Odd Look" by Kavinsky. This version features The Weeknd. If you don't feel like listening, just know that it's a dirty, sexual song.)
Her: You have me at a loss for words. And I can't say you didn't warn me. You didn't lie. You told me exactly what to expect. (Note: She's referring to when I told her that it's dangerous to fall in love with me.) I'll talk to you later... I don't know what to say.
* I roll my eyes and go silent *
Her: "Your hesitation speaks to me louder than million words per minute" (NOTE: lyrics from the song)
Me: yea?
Her: What's that mean?
Me: It means the things you don't say or do, the things you claim you're not tells me more than what you actually say.
Her: So... You're reading me?
Me: For awhile now.
Her: Well, are you going to tell me what you see?
Me: Someone trying VERY hard to appear poised and in control, when in actuality, she's got a fire in her veins, secretly craving for someone to set it free... so it can consume them both.
Her: I have to go to bed now. I don't think it's a good idea for me and you to keep talking tonight. I starting to feel weird and I don't know what that is.
Me: I'm sure you'll figure it out.
* Silence for 30 minutes *
Her: I figured it out.
* Silence for 15 minutes *
Her: I had to touch myself twice.
On another note, my baby's mama is being incredibly friendly to me. Constantly texting me. Keeps trying to start conversations. When she was here over the holidays, she kept touching my arms, telling me how built I've become from boxing and how much weight I've lost.
At the family dinner, my mother saw us chatting in the corner and later, she said my baby's mama was falling for me again. Her husband's a cool cat. He's just beta as fuck and a little angsty. My mother is urging me not to be alone with her and also that the husband was making odd faces at us, like he was suspecting something...
F*CKING DMSI. Women trying to f*ck me for just existing. I ain't doing shit. I'm just existing. Now, if I could get the other parts of my life in order. F*ck. I'd love existing.
Oh.
Went to the boxing gym earlier. There's a room in the back with a few heavy bags for private training. Went there just to kick it with a friend of mine, do some speed bag drills and the such. When I got there, there was this 6.5/10 pretty Latina with an AMAZING, AMAZING ass back there with her son. The moment I walked in, she burst into smiles, started grooming her hair. And then, kept bending over multiple times in front of me to play with the bluetooth radio. Funny thing is, the radio is buttonless. You control it from an app on your phone. She was literally making up reasons to bend over in front of me. I appreciate it, random Latina chick.
The rest of the day has been filled with rage. Like Shannon said, it seems to be rage at limitations. My own, and what people have imposed on me. I just want a chill, relaxing and free life and it seems like this society is hell bent on denying you that. They just do whatever they can to make things difficult. But whatever.
