01-05-2017, 02:56 AM
oh man. I have a lot of fear coming up about everything. I'm crazily afraid about how I look, being dumb/seen to be dumb, and being attacked for it.
I have scenarios coming up now in my life which have always killed me, small for most, but for me their pretty bad - work meetings where I have to be an expert. My mind goes blank, and I zone out to the point where I don't understand what people are saying. I have about 5 of these over the next week.
I think learning about markets and trading as well as LTU (possibly markets and trading have come up because of LTU) have made me start to observe and respond to fear less, it's still there, like a gremlin munching on my heart and soul, but I know that letting my actions follow from it only spells disaster. So I'm facing, allowing it to be there, and continuing to take the best actions I can with detachment from the need to feel good even if in the short term these actions are slow and weak I expect consistency in this approach will yield solid results.
Studying trading and LTU is also giving me a new appreciation for loss. Loss is inevitable, loss of money, loss of face, loss of esteem, but there is not much choice if you want to live a good life but to handle it with calm and reason.
Other parts of life, socially and with women are flowing easily. I'm able to engage socially and charismatically without giving it a second thought.
I have scenarios coming up now in my life which have always killed me, small for most, but for me their pretty bad - work meetings where I have to be an expert. My mind goes blank, and I zone out to the point where I don't understand what people are saying. I have about 5 of these over the next week.
I think learning about markets and trading as well as LTU (possibly markets and trading have come up because of LTU) have made me start to observe and respond to fear less, it's still there, like a gremlin munching on my heart and soul, but I know that letting my actions follow from it only spells disaster. So I'm facing, allowing it to be there, and continuing to take the best actions I can with detachment from the need to feel good even if in the short term these actions are slow and weak I expect consistency in this approach will yield solid results.
Studying trading and LTU is also giving me a new appreciation for loss. Loss is inevitable, loss of money, loss of face, loss of esteem, but there is not much choice if you want to live a good life but to handle it with calm and reason.
Other parts of life, socially and with women are flowing easily. I'm able to engage socially and charismatically without giving it a second thought.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
