01-03-2017, 07:23 AM
oh yeah... and yesterday, i busted out crying, twice at different times. not full blown baby crying, but the emotional explosion crying where i turned into a baby for about 3 whole seconds and then cleaned up my act and got it together.
the first cry was triggered when a girl said "if i could go back in time, and choose to not go the same path I went to get to where i am, i wouldn't take the opportunity to do so. I would much rather re-live all the heartbreak, all the court cases, all the drama, the craziness, the hospitals, jails, etc. so that I could have the experience I'm having now". after hearing her say that I had to put my hands over my eyes because it hit so close to my heart, and the waterworks started. the shittiness of my past is precisely what I had to overcome to have such a positive life right now, and i wouldn't trade it in for an entitled life. #clearing
the second cry was when i got off the phone with a friend. I talked about how i was going to have to adjust the 5 people I devote the most time to, to people who serve a purpose on my journey forward in my life. That would entail letting go of 2 friendships I valued very much, both of whom are women. But both of them just got engaged over the holidays, and our lives are going to go in completely divergent paths and the thought of having to let go of friendships that were so valuable and precious over the past 2 years destroys me. #clearing
had a dream last night that i was using facebook, even though IRL I deleted facebook 2 weeks ago. don't know how it relates to dimsee, but i do know i used facebook addictively, and it was a constant hit of dopamine for me so by removing it from my life, my brain misses the dopamine hits and demonstrates it by dreaming about it
the first cry was triggered when a girl said "if i could go back in time, and choose to not go the same path I went to get to where i am, i wouldn't take the opportunity to do so. I would much rather re-live all the heartbreak, all the court cases, all the drama, the craziness, the hospitals, jails, etc. so that I could have the experience I'm having now". after hearing her say that I had to put my hands over my eyes because it hit so close to my heart, and the waterworks started. the shittiness of my past is precisely what I had to overcome to have such a positive life right now, and i wouldn't trade it in for an entitled life. #clearing
the second cry was when i got off the phone with a friend. I talked about how i was going to have to adjust the 5 people I devote the most time to, to people who serve a purpose on my journey forward in my life. That would entail letting go of 2 friendships I valued very much, both of whom are women. But both of them just got engaged over the holidays, and our lives are going to go in completely divergent paths and the thought of having to let go of friendships that were so valuable and precious over the past 2 years destroys me. #clearing
had a dream last night that i was using facebook, even though IRL I deleted facebook 2 weeks ago. don't know how it relates to dimsee, but i do know i used facebook addictively, and it was a constant hit of dopamine for me so by removing it from my life, my brain misses the dopamine hits and demonstrates it by dreaming about it
