(12-28-2016, 11:21 AM)chaosvrgn Wrote: I told you, man. The secret is literally being completely comfortable with who you are and having no fears or hold ups about that. A lot of people's self-improvement / self-development is basically: "How do I stop being less like myself and more socially acceptable?"
My self-development? "How do I start being who I am while operating enough within society's limited boundaries to be successful?" Because, whether I want to admit it or not, I gotta "abide by the rules" in some form or fashion, or you'll be completely rejected.
That being said, there's something attractive about a man that can break societal rules without being TOO far over the edge. It's all about boundaries and frame setting.
When people ask me about boundary setting, I always say it comes down to how much you value yourself. At the end of the day, every interaction is about the exchange of value. A boundary -- to me -- is how much value you're willing to give away (or be taken away) before you tell that person to f*ck off. When a person is demanding too much of your time and not giving anything back -- f*ck off. If a person is trying to devalue your inherent worth (through teasing, being an AMOG, or an SJW shaming you) -- f*ck off. Someone trying to diss your skills or abilities in an attempt to make themselves appear more valuable -- f*ck off.
If the transaction between you and I isn't equitable, I have, I will, and will always... tell you to f*ck right off. Don't second guess yourself when you do these things. Even if there's a "better way" to handle it. Do what's best for YOU. Some people call this rational self-interest -- that you only take an action, that an action is only rational if it promotes your own interests.
This.
I'd recommend everyone to read "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck" - Mark Manson
