12-07-2016, 04:39 AM
I noticed an increase in hunger after listening to yesterday's loops. I had some homemade burger (250g 20% fat beef), at about 6 pm, but was hungry as hell two hours later! I don't know if this is related to me disabling the audio enhancer on my laptop. Whatever the case, I see it as a good sign.
My IDGAF attitude has gone up to another level. My cousin added me to an extended family WhatsApp group. I don't like this, but I would normally stay in the group to avoid hurting his feelings, and the feelings of other family members. Furthermore, he is an elderly cousin, and a Pastor, which brings in the respect-of-elders factor.
As soon as I saw that I was added to this group of 100+ people, more than 80% of who I do not know, I exited the group with no questions asked. He added me back a couple of hours later, and I again exited the group. I was ready to block his contact from my phone but decided to send him a text saying I don't want to be in a group with people I don't know. He was ok with it and did not argue, which was strange to me as I was unapologetic.
I experienced sleep paralysis again early this morning and had some weird sexual dreams. I have also noticed memories from my childhood are being brought back. Memories of things I have not thought about for more than a decade, or at least I have not been conscious of them. All of these memories have an aspect of shame attached. Healing is definitely taking place.
I just started listening to my first loop of the day.
My IDGAF attitude has gone up to another level. My cousin added me to an extended family WhatsApp group. I don't like this, but I would normally stay in the group to avoid hurting his feelings, and the feelings of other family members. Furthermore, he is an elderly cousin, and a Pastor, which brings in the respect-of-elders factor.
As soon as I saw that I was added to this group of 100+ people, more than 80% of who I do not know, I exited the group with no questions asked. He added me back a couple of hours later, and I again exited the group. I was ready to block his contact from my phone but decided to send him a text saying I don't want to be in a group with people I don't know. He was ok with it and did not argue, which was strange to me as I was unapologetic.
I experienced sleep paralysis again early this morning and had some weird sexual dreams. I have also noticed memories from my childhood are being brought back. Memories of things I have not thought about for more than a decade, or at least I have not been conscious of them. All of these memories have an aspect of shame attached. Healing is definitely taking place.
I just started listening to my first loop of the day.
Confront your problems. Walk away from BS. Seek wisdom to know the difference.
