Day 4 -- I think. I'm just gonna pretend it's day 4 and move on from there.
EDIT: Manifestations are up. Woke up to a number of sexy ass Tinder matches. I seem to be intuitively drawn to two of them: one white, one black. Gonna go for both and just have fun. I want to test the manifestation tech. Theoretically, if they're manifestations, I should be able to do and say about anything and still land the score, right?
Resistance has semi-passed. I feel powerful. Also feel really angry at the world, but it's not a impotent rage. I'm back to feeling like I could take on anyone or anything. Feeling rather punchtastic toward various individuals from my past. My old manager from long ago that sabotaged my career there. Some people I used to hang out with back in the day. Few women I used to do date.
So much has changed in my life that I would dare them to try the same disrespectful shit they did in the past. I know I need to let go of this pain, but I don't want to. I want to feel the rage. I want it to burn through my veins and fuel me. At least that's what I've told myself for the last few years. That'd I'd use that hatred to power through anything that would stop me. But in actuality, the exact opposite has occurred. It's held me back and stopped me from being a fully actualized individual.
This is the danger of using rage and pain to define your identity. It can't be healthy that I feel sadness as the idea of releasing that anger.
I'm still getting used to this "resistance shield" because it's such an odd feeling. It feels like a phantom pain (in the medical sense, not the game), like my non-corporeal mind is in agony, but I can't feel it. Only sense it. It's quite unnerving. That being said, I'm glad it's there. I feel like it's cleaning a really deep wound. I keep getting random messages from my subconscious that don't make any sense whatsoever. They're not even formed words. Just impressions of ideas and events -- in many cases, of things that didn't even happen.
If I had to guess, I'd say that Shannon took the brakes off the healing modules. He ramped them up to full speed and they're just digging through past emotional traumas. Then, he had the sub install the shield so we wouldn't implode in the process.
AMIRITE?
OMG AMIRITE?
EDIT: Manifestations are up. Woke up to a number of sexy ass Tinder matches. I seem to be intuitively drawn to two of them: one white, one black. Gonna go for both and just have fun. I want to test the manifestation tech. Theoretically, if they're manifestations, I should be able to do and say about anything and still land the score, right?
Resistance has semi-passed. I feel powerful. Also feel really angry at the world, but it's not a impotent rage. I'm back to feeling like I could take on anyone or anything. Feeling rather punchtastic toward various individuals from my past. My old manager from long ago that sabotaged my career there. Some people I used to hang out with back in the day. Few women I used to do date.
So much has changed in my life that I would dare them to try the same disrespectful shit they did in the past. I know I need to let go of this pain, but I don't want to. I want to feel the rage. I want it to burn through my veins and fuel me. At least that's what I've told myself for the last few years. That'd I'd use that hatred to power through anything that would stop me. But in actuality, the exact opposite has occurred. It's held me back and stopped me from being a fully actualized individual.
This is the danger of using rage and pain to define your identity. It can't be healthy that I feel sadness as the idea of releasing that anger.
I'm still getting used to this "resistance shield" because it's such an odd feeling. It feels like a phantom pain (in the medical sense, not the game), like my non-corporeal mind is in agony, but I can't feel it. Only sense it. It's quite unnerving. That being said, I'm glad it's there. I feel like it's cleaning a really deep wound. I keep getting random messages from my subconscious that don't make any sense whatsoever. They're not even formed words. Just impressions of ideas and events -- in many cases, of things that didn't even happen.
If I had to guess, I'd say that Shannon took the brakes off the healing modules. He ramped them up to full speed and they're just digging through past emotional traumas. Then, he had the sub install the shield so we wouldn't implode in the process.
AMIRITE?
OMG AMIRITE?
