12-01-2016, 01:27 AM
Yesterday had the most productive and positive day I've had in...probably 10 years. Doing exercise every day and really just enjoying life. I'm struggling with thoughts of 'with so much suffering in the world, why should I be so happy' so there is an issue of deservedness.
I feel immense gratitude about everything. last night it was cold and I had a hot shower and I thought 'imagine, once upon a time only kings could bathe in hot water' - I enjoyed the shit out of a normal shower!
I actually received some bad news at work - that I'd been given a low grading for performance for the past six months (which wasn't surprising, I was pretty checked out). what was surprising is I was more chilled about it than my boss who was upset and thought his boss was unfair for arguing for my lower grade - I just said it was fine, i'll use it as a spur to do better.
Also just seem to be getting on better with people around me.
Yes. LTU is fricken awesome.
I'm taken aback when I read the amount of 'I just need to have sex' journals. Not so much by the content but how much I've moved on since the days when I was the same - subs have pushed me quite a long way I guess.
I feel immense gratitude about everything. last night it was cold and I had a hot shower and I thought 'imagine, once upon a time only kings could bathe in hot water' - I enjoyed the shit out of a normal shower!
I actually received some bad news at work - that I'd been given a low grading for performance for the past six months (which wasn't surprising, I was pretty checked out). what was surprising is I was more chilled about it than my boss who was upset and thought his boss was unfair for arguing for my lower grade - I just said it was fine, i'll use it as a spur to do better.
Also just seem to be getting on better with people around me.
Yes. LTU is fricken awesome.
I'm taken aback when I read the amount of 'I just need to have sex' journals. Not so much by the content but how much I've moved on since the days when I was the same - subs have pushed me quite a long way I guess.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
