11-14-2016, 07:24 PM
Day 4 - Reset from V1
Currently contemplating life to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMVc0vG4K_k
Non women related post.
Today was an interesting day. I realized what the feeling was that hit me Saturday and Sunday. It was longing. Maybe a longing for something that was a part of my past. Maybe the realization that with this journey I'm taking, not just with DMSI, but with my company that I started and with the goals of life that I set for myself, that those parts of a past are finally going to be gone.
It's funny, the older I've become, the more melancholy I feel for certain things. Or, perhaps that melancholy feeling is a part of my programming that is trying to assert itself in a mind that is constantly shifting.
By the time this year ends, a lot of things will end up changing for me as well. I effectively resigned from my full-time job 2 weeks ago and gave them until the end of the year. So, I'm putting that to bed. I got tired of the work in any case and I felt like I was just running around in circles in a place where people didn't want to change. And I got tired of wasting my time.
I also thought of my friend from last week. I made a choice a long time ago to not get into anything long term again. Relationships feel like their own prison for me, and I can't live my life around another persons schedule. That's how many of my past relationships felt. I can't do that. I like my own time too much. It's probably due to the fact that I'm an only child. I crave my independence and solitary time.
Part of me wants to go back to the version of me that was 23, and on the road, landing in foreign countries and staying there. The idea of being in a stationary place, the idea of even having a home is a completely foreign concept to me. The same associations I have with relationships I have with the idea of a home. I have a place to live, but that isn't really a home. For me it's all temporary. I like the ability to just move around. Probably why I don't own much and keep my place sparsely furnished.
It's funny, even though V2.4 had all the clearing modules enabled in them, I feel like I cleared more and came to terms with many aspects of myself while running 2.5. I can only assume that that's part of the function of the anti-resistance tech in 2.5. Or maybe I just do better with blunt force trauma when it comes to getting an idea across.
I will say in reading the journals of so many of the members on this forum, it's exciting to see how many positive changes are occurring in so many peoples lives. It's inspiring really. I'm not even sure how I found Shannon's programs, because I don't typically surf many forums. This is actually the only forum I have ever really been active in.
I guess I just feel good. I feel grateful. Melancholy on the one hand, because some things are coming to an end. But so, so grateful on the other hand. Because of the fact that I'm alive, and that I have the life I have, and the opportunities in front of me.
I knew so many people that never even had a chance.
It reminds me of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs:
There's one more kid
That will never go to school
Never get to fall in love
Never get to be cool
Keep on rocking in the free world...
Currently contemplating life to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMVc0vG4K_k
Non women related post.
Today was an interesting day. I realized what the feeling was that hit me Saturday and Sunday. It was longing. Maybe a longing for something that was a part of my past. Maybe the realization that with this journey I'm taking, not just with DMSI, but with my company that I started and with the goals of life that I set for myself, that those parts of a past are finally going to be gone.
It's funny, the older I've become, the more melancholy I feel for certain things. Or, perhaps that melancholy feeling is a part of my programming that is trying to assert itself in a mind that is constantly shifting.
By the time this year ends, a lot of things will end up changing for me as well. I effectively resigned from my full-time job 2 weeks ago and gave them until the end of the year. So, I'm putting that to bed. I got tired of the work in any case and I felt like I was just running around in circles in a place where people didn't want to change. And I got tired of wasting my time.
I also thought of my friend from last week. I made a choice a long time ago to not get into anything long term again. Relationships feel like their own prison for me, and I can't live my life around another persons schedule. That's how many of my past relationships felt. I can't do that. I like my own time too much. It's probably due to the fact that I'm an only child. I crave my independence and solitary time.
Part of me wants to go back to the version of me that was 23, and on the road, landing in foreign countries and staying there. The idea of being in a stationary place, the idea of even having a home is a completely foreign concept to me. The same associations I have with relationships I have with the idea of a home. I have a place to live, but that isn't really a home. For me it's all temporary. I like the ability to just move around. Probably why I don't own much and keep my place sparsely furnished.
It's funny, even though V2.4 had all the clearing modules enabled in them, I feel like I cleared more and came to terms with many aspects of myself while running 2.5. I can only assume that that's part of the function of the anti-resistance tech in 2.5. Or maybe I just do better with blunt force trauma when it comes to getting an idea across.
I will say in reading the journals of so many of the members on this forum, it's exciting to see how many positive changes are occurring in so many peoples lives. It's inspiring really. I'm not even sure how I found Shannon's programs, because I don't typically surf many forums. This is actually the only forum I have ever really been active in.
I guess I just feel good. I feel grateful. Melancholy on the one hand, because some things are coming to an end. But so, so grateful on the other hand. Because of the fact that I'm alive, and that I have the life I have, and the opportunities in front of me.
I knew so many people that never even had a chance.
It reminds me of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs:
There's one more kid
That will never go to school
Never get to fall in love
Never get to be cool
Keep on rocking in the free world...
