Had to take a step back from the forums for a few days. Some of the egos and BS ideas being thrown around in journals are irking the shit out of me, and I felt like if I didn't leave I'd start attacking people. I don't like seeing people promoting or applauding attitudes and behaviors that stem from emotional damage or negativity. I understand none of us are perfect and are here to better ourselves, but increasing damage/negativity/BS in the world is something I don't handle well. Anyway, I didn't want to be a negative addition, so I had to withdraw. Now I'm feeling more level-headed...I don't know if this is a side effect of the sub, or if my tolerance for BS had just hit its limit.
Concerning the sub, I've been getting looks & smiles (as usual), and a super-cute desk attendant at the gym keeps trying to initiate convo with me when I go to the gym. There's also a new girl at the gym that openly gapes at me. I have a picture I'll extract from spy video and put it up soon.
One of my wife's coworkers, whom I've spoke of before, has finally been exposed to me for a significant amount of time at the gym as well. Before, it'd always been a maximum of 10 minutes (and maybe twice, at that). The other day, it was more like 45 minutes. I caught her taking peeks at me, thanks to Spy Cam. I looked the other way while having the lens pointed at her. She's an expert at the eye-flick, but flick it did. Without the app, I wouldn't have had a clue. Following that day, my thoughts were dominated by her - especially subconsciously. I'd catch myself daydreaming about her, vividly and sexually (I could picture her in my mind's eye so easily!). I also woke up from sleep with her playing on my mind the next morning. This all lasted easily for about 24 hours. I'm pretty sure I dreamed about her as well.
I've been having a few dreams about my SIL. We were sleeping in the same bed, I made a few moves, and she essentially keeps rejecting me very politely. Then we ended up sleeping with our butts touching? I dunno.
Last, I had a dream about my new younger female neighbor. In the dream, she moved out - so soon after moving in. My wife and I went to her new apartment, and we knocked on the door. The neighbor chick answers the door in a skimpy top. She pulls my wife inside, starts making out with her, and then slams the door in my face! WTF! In real life, she'll see me and wave, but also seems to have pulled back a little. We rang their doorbell on Halloween and she would hardly look at me.
The cute neighbor from across the street's kid came over to me while I was doing some yard work the other day to tell me it was her birthday. Her mom came out eventually and started walking toward me smiling big, and then started playing with her hair the whole time she walked me way. She was messing with her hair in a way that she had both arms up and was sticking her chest out as far as she could.
I hinted at wanting sex with my wife the other night, as I hadn't had sex since the night I gave her the massage. I went for it, and she says, "No, I don't want to." I try the, "Well, it'll be fast, so what's the problem?" She got more nasty with her response, so I got pissed and started to leave the bedroom saying, "I'll be back after I take care of myself." Then she sighs loud, "Fine, just do it, then. You'll be mad at me if you don't, so just do it." That went back and forth, because I didn't want her to feel used, but she insisted - so I started in as she scowled away, trying to guilt-trip me ("Sure, just force sex on your sick/pregnant wife!"). Within 30 seconds, I felt a rush of lady lube. Next thing I know, she's into it. I smiled, got verbal - that helped her even more, and within 60 more seconds she's having a body-wracking orgasm. The whole time I was thinking she wouldn't be able to resist my DMSI-aura and I was right. After we finished, I said, "See, you even got yours," and she barks, "FINALLY!" That made me laugh really hard, b/c she was right, and I was relieved we both enjoyed it. She was very happily talkative in bed afterward, so, so much for "I don't want to!"
Had the first preseason basketball game of the year last night. Got a very strange/quizzical scowl from a mother in the row in front of us (like, "I've seen this guy for years and never felt anything, and NOW I see him and he's yummy!?"). I also got the impression her husband was trying his best to make me laugh. He's a nice dude, but usually he just speaks to my dad (we have season tickets together).
EDIT: Forgot to mention, in the last 3/4 weeks I've had one drink - a beer out at dinner last night. So if fear used to drive me to drink on DMSI, that seems to be gone.
Concerning the sub, I've been getting looks & smiles (as usual), and a super-cute desk attendant at the gym keeps trying to initiate convo with me when I go to the gym. There's also a new girl at the gym that openly gapes at me. I have a picture I'll extract from spy video and put it up soon.
One of my wife's coworkers, whom I've spoke of before, has finally been exposed to me for a significant amount of time at the gym as well. Before, it'd always been a maximum of 10 minutes (and maybe twice, at that). The other day, it was more like 45 minutes. I caught her taking peeks at me, thanks to Spy Cam. I looked the other way while having the lens pointed at her. She's an expert at the eye-flick, but flick it did. Without the app, I wouldn't have had a clue. Following that day, my thoughts were dominated by her - especially subconsciously. I'd catch myself daydreaming about her, vividly and sexually (I could picture her in my mind's eye so easily!). I also woke up from sleep with her playing on my mind the next morning. This all lasted easily for about 24 hours. I'm pretty sure I dreamed about her as well.
I've been having a few dreams about my SIL. We were sleeping in the same bed, I made a few moves, and she essentially keeps rejecting me very politely. Then we ended up sleeping with our butts touching? I dunno.
Last, I had a dream about my new younger female neighbor. In the dream, she moved out - so soon after moving in. My wife and I went to her new apartment, and we knocked on the door. The neighbor chick answers the door in a skimpy top. She pulls my wife inside, starts making out with her, and then slams the door in my face! WTF! In real life, she'll see me and wave, but also seems to have pulled back a little. We rang their doorbell on Halloween and she would hardly look at me.
The cute neighbor from across the street's kid came over to me while I was doing some yard work the other day to tell me it was her birthday. Her mom came out eventually and started walking toward me smiling big, and then started playing with her hair the whole time she walked me way. She was messing with her hair in a way that she had both arms up and was sticking her chest out as far as she could.
I hinted at wanting sex with my wife the other night, as I hadn't had sex since the night I gave her the massage. I went for it, and she says, "No, I don't want to." I try the, "Well, it'll be fast, so what's the problem?" She got more nasty with her response, so I got pissed and started to leave the bedroom saying, "I'll be back after I take care of myself." Then she sighs loud, "Fine, just do it, then. You'll be mad at me if you don't, so just do it." That went back and forth, because I didn't want her to feel used, but she insisted - so I started in as she scowled away, trying to guilt-trip me ("Sure, just force sex on your sick/pregnant wife!"). Within 30 seconds, I felt a rush of lady lube. Next thing I know, she's into it. I smiled, got verbal - that helped her even more, and within 60 more seconds she's having a body-wracking orgasm. The whole time I was thinking she wouldn't be able to resist my DMSI-aura and I was right. After we finished, I said, "See, you even got yours," and she barks, "FINALLY!" That made me laugh really hard, b/c she was right, and I was relieved we both enjoyed it. She was very happily talkative in bed afterward, so, so much for "I don't want to!"
Had the first preseason basketball game of the year last night. Got a very strange/quizzical scowl from a mother in the row in front of us (like, "I've seen this guy for years and never felt anything, and NOW I see him and he's yummy!?"). I also got the impression her husband was trying his best to make me laugh. He's a nice dude, but usually he just speaks to my dad (we have season tickets together).
EDIT: Forgot to mention, in the last 3/4 weeks I've had one drink - a beer out at dinner last night. So if fear used to drive me to drink on DMSI, that seems to be gone.
