09-07-2011, 11:33 AM
Alpha Stage 2, Day 6.
It’s been a while since I have posted, so I decided to check in. Well, to be honest, I thought all of you guys were exaggerating when you talked about resistance. Wow, was I completely wrong. There must be truckloads of garbage in my subconscious, because there are times when I really struggle with this program. A good example was this morning: I woke up at around 4:30 feeling absolutely horrible (that’s been happening pretty often since I started stage 2) and just dragged myself over to the boombox and had to shut it off. A huge wave of relief washed over me, followed by the biggest “facepalm” I have ever had. My mind seems pretty adamant to stop this from going through. I have also noticed that I have been having random crying fits during the day. It’s somewhat annoying, but I can usually go somewhere and compose myself and be okay in a few minutes. Another strange form of resistance I have discovered is that I have a very strong urge to use as many subliminals as possible! Lol. I get very excited when I read the description, and have to remind myself that my mind might be telling me to buy them because using more than one makes them less effective. Or we are all secretly being brain-ninjaed (kidding).
On the bright side (yes, there is a bright side!) a few good things have happened. It feels wrong to walk around with a slouched posture. I can’t really say why, but when I try to walk like I used to, (head down, shoulders slumped) it actually makes me feel physically ill. It also leads me to wonder…how the hell did I walk like that before? Lately, I haven’t been going to the gym or eating that well, and while I haven’t had a huge desire to do so, I’ve noticed that my view of my body has gotten a little better. I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror more than I did before (yay, vanity!). Finally I feel like something has changed inside me. I can’t really explain it, but at the risk of sounding cheesy, I guess you could describe it as “a sleeping giant awakening.” In spite of all the crazy resistance I’m going through right now, I just have this tiny little voice in my head that’s reassuring me. I can’t always hear it, but it usually starts talking when I feel my worst and kind of picks me up.
Well, that’s really all I can think to say now, I’ll be sure to post if anything else interesting happens.
It’s been a while since I have posted, so I decided to check in. Well, to be honest, I thought all of you guys were exaggerating when you talked about resistance. Wow, was I completely wrong. There must be truckloads of garbage in my subconscious, because there are times when I really struggle with this program. A good example was this morning: I woke up at around 4:30 feeling absolutely horrible (that’s been happening pretty often since I started stage 2) and just dragged myself over to the boombox and had to shut it off. A huge wave of relief washed over me, followed by the biggest “facepalm” I have ever had. My mind seems pretty adamant to stop this from going through. I have also noticed that I have been having random crying fits during the day. It’s somewhat annoying, but I can usually go somewhere and compose myself and be okay in a few minutes. Another strange form of resistance I have discovered is that I have a very strong urge to use as many subliminals as possible! Lol. I get very excited when I read the description, and have to remind myself that my mind might be telling me to buy them because using more than one makes them less effective. Or we are all secretly being brain-ninjaed (kidding).
On the bright side (yes, there is a bright side!) a few good things have happened. It feels wrong to walk around with a slouched posture. I can’t really say why, but when I try to walk like I used to, (head down, shoulders slumped) it actually makes me feel physically ill. It also leads me to wonder…how the hell did I walk like that before? Lately, I haven’t been going to the gym or eating that well, and while I haven’t had a huge desire to do so, I’ve noticed that my view of my body has gotten a little better. I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror more than I did before (yay, vanity!). Finally I feel like something has changed inside me. I can’t really explain it, but at the risk of sounding cheesy, I guess you could describe it as “a sleeping giant awakening.” In spite of all the crazy resistance I’m going through right now, I just have this tiny little voice in my head that’s reassuring me. I can’t always hear it, but it usually starts talking when I feel my worst and kind of picks me up.
Well, that’s really all I can think to say now, I’ll be sure to post if anything else interesting happens.
