Aventus's E2 --->DMSI V3.0.1 journey

[Aventus45]

I'm mentally expressing all the frustration inside my mind. The first response was to take action and change myself. Next is frustration about my current situation and the futility of my own actions to move past it and the last is contemplating on ending my life. I need E2 more than ever. I just wished I can just have a massive purge and be done with it.

It's taken years to get where you are now.
Fortunately, E2 will turn those years into months and eventually into days!!

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Recently SargeMaximus recommended this book:
It's Not About the Shark: How to Solve Unsolvable Problems by David Niven PhD
https://smile.amazon.com/Its-Not-About-S...+the+shark
It teaches the reader how to FOCUS on the SOLUTION...

I'm usually a person that has the mentality of " here are some things you can start working on and keep yourself busy" but what undercuts this completely is the feeling of " Will this even help me at all?".

Day 4

E2 is starting to tackle the deeper stuff and the only reason why I know that is it comes up in my dreams. As a minority, I felt inferior in some aspects and I felt hate too. I'm glad E2 is beginning to tackle this part of it because it will hopefully dissolve the victim mentality and in part regaining my confidence.

One of the subs included in E2 is Overcome The Victim Mentality. No worries, bro!

Not worrying about that. its just the dream made me angry instead of submissive. I verbally yelled at him then walked off.

Had a beer with some of my good friends I made this semester but the thing is... One of them mentioned a girl he is becoming close to in the club I volunteer with them and it just , for the leak of a better word, triggered something in me. Deep seated jealousy, hatred of some kind, and I felt absolutely sick and in my head for the rest of my time there. I had to leave and currently stuff feeling it plus the alcohol is taking hold.

I'm mentally expressing all the frustration inside my mind. The first response was to take action and change myself. Next is frustration about my current situation and the futility of my own actions to move past it and the last is contemplating on ending my life. I need E2 more than ever. I just wished I can just have a massive purge and be done with it.

I know I'm not saying anything different or nothing you haven't heard before, but the fact that you have been able to isolate the feeling is a big step forward. Knowing that something burns allows you to better deal with it and move from it.

Time and patience heals all wounds. And if you need someone to talk to, reach out to the members at this forum. We're all trying to get through this together, so, you're never alone.

Remember that.

When I experience emotions, I feel it physically and then in hindsight I can see how I reacted to the experience. It felt like a cocktail of emotions and physical feeling. I just wished I had the patience to see that this will eventually payoff and I'll be better because of this run.