10-06-2016, 07:42 AM
Now that I've gotten that off my chest -- there is something PROFOUND happening beneath the hood. Yesterday, Shannon mentioned that I must be resisting something fierce if I'm simultaneously experiencing the passing of resistance and the symptoms of resistance. Last night, I had a weird dream where I wasn't paying attention to my gas tank and was about 6 miles from empty. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of nowhere and I had this intuitive sense that I was surrounded by werewolves. I wasn't that afraid though. When the car ran out of gas, I reached over, pulled out my boxing gloves and then laced them with knives, like I was Wolverine, rofl. Then I hopped out of the car, ready for combat. Then I woke up. I'm pretty sure this has something to do with the poster reveal of "Wolverine 3," which has been titled LOGAN (which I think is super dope.)
Anyway, when I woke up this morning, I felt badass in a... new way? I can't quite explain it. I'm starting to believe that I truly am high value and unstoppable. I have a nasty resistance headache forming, but that's nothing new. I've been resisting something for a month now and it seems like the clearing modules are kinda like, "enough is enough, bruh. Let's take care of this shit." There was something liberating about rejecting that chick last night, even if she was thinking the same thing. One thing to note: I've NEVER done that before. She was a straight up 8/10 physically -- amazing body. She told me that she was once overweight and hit the gym like everyday to lose it. So, ya'll know what that means. She still had amazing curves, but was super muscular and fit. In the past, I would've given her 2-3 more dates to see if she'd open up. But something clicked in my mind, like, dude you're a man of abundance. Your time is valuable. Don't waste it.
The same "shaming female friend" texted this morning, asked how the date went. I told her. She made some comment about "my game being weak." Next thing I knew, I had texted her back something along the lines of: "Please. I've made you wet on much more than one occasion." She sent back, "How would you know?" And I said, "A real man can tell." To that, she responded with three smiley faces -- NOT what I was expecting. I was expecting more shaming attempts. The ease of which I said that to a long-term "friend" that I've never made sexual attempts at was astounding.
There are other changes that are going down too, part of the reality bending thing. It's hard to explain and may not mean much to you, but I'll try. When I lived in California, I fell in love with this pretty, submissive Latina. I mean REALLY hard. Things... just didn't seem to be, though. I wasn't in a position for intimacy, and she had a boyfriend (even though we fooled around behind his back). I accompanied her to church one time and her boyfriend, one of the youth pastors, caught wind of our attraction and immediately proposed to her. After that, I just let her go.
Anyway, one of the more touching moments we had, she sang me this song while we were driving around, just enjoying the California sunset. Ever since that day, every time I'd hear that song, I'd fall into this weird state of nostalgia and somewhat depression for letting her go. When I hear that song now... I feel nothing. It's part of a past that no longer really exists. No longer who I am. No longer in my trajectory. I don't even really have feelings for her anymore. This is a DMSI development. Even during my second run of AM6, I would catch wind of her life and fall into sadness.
No more. Well, maybe just a lil, because she really did help me get out of a dark place. But, not that overwhelming sense of loss and sadness. DMSI healed that.
Moving forward.
Anyway, when I woke up this morning, I felt badass in a... new way? I can't quite explain it. I'm starting to believe that I truly am high value and unstoppable. I have a nasty resistance headache forming, but that's nothing new. I've been resisting something for a month now and it seems like the clearing modules are kinda like, "enough is enough, bruh. Let's take care of this shit." There was something liberating about rejecting that chick last night, even if she was thinking the same thing. One thing to note: I've NEVER done that before. She was a straight up 8/10 physically -- amazing body. She told me that she was once overweight and hit the gym like everyday to lose it. So, ya'll know what that means. She still had amazing curves, but was super muscular and fit. In the past, I would've given her 2-3 more dates to see if she'd open up. But something clicked in my mind, like, dude you're a man of abundance. Your time is valuable. Don't waste it.
The same "shaming female friend" texted this morning, asked how the date went. I told her. She made some comment about "my game being weak." Next thing I knew, I had texted her back something along the lines of: "Please. I've made you wet on much more than one occasion." She sent back, "How would you know?" And I said, "A real man can tell." To that, she responded with three smiley faces -- NOT what I was expecting. I was expecting more shaming attempts. The ease of which I said that to a long-term "friend" that I've never made sexual attempts at was astounding.
There are other changes that are going down too, part of the reality bending thing. It's hard to explain and may not mean much to you, but I'll try. When I lived in California, I fell in love with this pretty, submissive Latina. I mean REALLY hard. Things... just didn't seem to be, though. I wasn't in a position for intimacy, and she had a boyfriend (even though we fooled around behind his back). I accompanied her to church one time and her boyfriend, one of the youth pastors, caught wind of our attraction and immediately proposed to her. After that, I just let her go.
Anyway, one of the more touching moments we had, she sang me this song while we were driving around, just enjoying the California sunset. Ever since that day, every time I'd hear that song, I'd fall into this weird state of nostalgia and somewhat depression for letting her go. When I hear that song now... I feel nothing. It's part of a past that no longer really exists. No longer who I am. No longer in my trajectory. I don't even really have feelings for her anymore. This is a DMSI development. Even during my second run of AM6, I would catch wind of her life and fall into sadness.
No more. Well, maybe just a lil, because she really did help me get out of a dark place. But, not that overwhelming sense of loss and sadness. DMSI healed that.
Moving forward.
