Day 29.
Interesting day today. Had some violent dreams last night that I don't remember. Woke up this morning feeling tired and irritated. Only had about 4 hours of sleep before I had to head off to a family outing that I couldn't get out of. I've felt this underlying sense of fear for awhile now. Felt like I've lost my edge, like AM6 is fading. The more I monitored my behavior and thought patterns, though, the more I realized that it's not "fading," it's settling in and becoming reality. It's not "foreign programming" on top of old faulty programming. It's "REAL," if that makes any sense.
The family outing was a lot bigger than I anticipated. A lot of "friends of friends" showed up -- many of them beautiful women that were unrelated to me. I took that opportunity to see how DMSI fared. Now, keep in mind that this isn't really a place that I could really approach and do any kind of game. It'd be quite uncouth. However... that didn't stop DMSI from affecting / sniping the hell out of a ton of the women there. I mean, it was kind of ridiculous. Every woman that walked by kept shooting me these bewildered glances, like, "wtf IS this person?" Guys kept doing it too. Clearly had a celebrity vibe.
Not gonna lie, my ego swelled to insane heights. I had women finding reasons to sit beside me, rub their legs against me, particularly this one beautiful, submissive woman -- who I found out was married and her husband was there. We kept eye-fucking each other the entire time.
I also had this older, but very attractive woman come up behind me and literally place both her hands on my waist to "guide me" out of way. I laughed, because that's usually what men do to women in the club. Very blatant IOI.
THE BIGGEST HIT, though...
There was this one tall, younger black woman, very beautiful smile. Like seriously, that shit reminded me of how Nick Carroway described his first encounter with Jay Gatsby:
She was wearing this super tight blue dress, amazing body. I walked over to grab Sunkist and I literally feel someone staring at me. I turn around, we meet eyes. And she just bursts into laughter. At first, I was like, wtf. Then I realized that she wasn't laughing at me, she was laughing at whatever she was feeling. Then she goes, "I think you might be the most handsome man I've ever met."
So, I laugh and honestly, I don't remember what I said back. Between my exhaustion (look at my last posting, 3am and I was back up at 7am) and the autopilot, I was just chatting. I ended up getting her number. Didn't care what anyone thought. Shit, she might be a distant cousin, IDGAF. That fucking ass was to die for and I have every intention of depositing some lifejuice in her.
She also insisted on taking a selfie with me and posting it to Facebook. Was really weird. I remember looking at the picture and thinking, DAMN I LOOK GOOD. Like, my skin looked amazing. Like I was glowing. I know part of it is my facial mix (before bed: alpha hydroxy, fade cream, followed by a healthy slathering of cocoa butter), but it's also a perceptive thing. I'm holding myself in a much higher regard.
Also, I thought my business motivation was gone, but I came home, sprayed a shot of Molecule F and did the damn thing today. Gotta keep telling myself that it's a slow and steady process. Doesn't mean it'll take 50 years, but I gotta enjoy the journey. I'm trying to move too fast and because of that, I'm not making smart business decisions.
All in all, pretty good day. I am curious as to how I'd respond to v2.3 -- REALLY miss the internal feeling. However, I'm going to push on with v2.4 until Shannon says he has enough data (or, unless the clearing gets to the short circuit point). Then, I might try v2.3 again... just curious.
Interesting day today. Had some violent dreams last night that I don't remember. Woke up this morning feeling tired and irritated. Only had about 4 hours of sleep before I had to head off to a family outing that I couldn't get out of. I've felt this underlying sense of fear for awhile now. Felt like I've lost my edge, like AM6 is fading. The more I monitored my behavior and thought patterns, though, the more I realized that it's not "fading," it's settling in and becoming reality. It's not "foreign programming" on top of old faulty programming. It's "REAL," if that makes any sense.
The family outing was a lot bigger than I anticipated. A lot of "friends of friends" showed up -- many of them beautiful women that were unrelated to me. I took that opportunity to see how DMSI fared. Now, keep in mind that this isn't really a place that I could really approach and do any kind of game. It'd be quite uncouth. However... that didn't stop DMSI from affecting / sniping the hell out of a ton of the women there. I mean, it was kind of ridiculous. Every woman that walked by kept shooting me these bewildered glances, like, "wtf IS this person?" Guys kept doing it too. Clearly had a celebrity vibe.
Not gonna lie, my ego swelled to insane heights. I had women finding reasons to sit beside me, rub their legs against me, particularly this one beautiful, submissive woman -- who I found out was married and her husband was there. We kept eye-fucking each other the entire time.
I also had this older, but very attractive woman come up behind me and literally place both her hands on my waist to "guide me" out of way. I laughed, because that's usually what men do to women in the club. Very blatant IOI.
THE BIGGEST HIT, though...
There was this one tall, younger black woman, very beautiful smile. Like seriously, that shit reminded me of how Nick Carroway described his first encounter with Jay Gatsby:
Quote:He smiled understandingly–much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced–or seemed to face–the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistable prejudice in your favor. It understood you just so far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.
She was wearing this super tight blue dress, amazing body. I walked over to grab Sunkist and I literally feel someone staring at me. I turn around, we meet eyes. And she just bursts into laughter. At first, I was like, wtf. Then I realized that she wasn't laughing at me, she was laughing at whatever she was feeling. Then she goes, "I think you might be the most handsome man I've ever met."
So, I laugh and honestly, I don't remember what I said back. Between my exhaustion (look at my last posting, 3am and I was back up at 7am) and the autopilot, I was just chatting. I ended up getting her number. Didn't care what anyone thought. Shit, she might be a distant cousin, IDGAF. That fucking ass was to die for and I have every intention of depositing some lifejuice in her.
She also insisted on taking a selfie with me and posting it to Facebook. Was really weird. I remember looking at the picture and thinking, DAMN I LOOK GOOD. Like, my skin looked amazing. Like I was glowing. I know part of it is my facial mix (before bed: alpha hydroxy, fade cream, followed by a healthy slathering of cocoa butter), but it's also a perceptive thing. I'm holding myself in a much higher regard.
Also, I thought my business motivation was gone, but I came home, sprayed a shot of Molecule F and did the damn thing today. Gotta keep telling myself that it's a slow and steady process. Doesn't mean it'll take 50 years, but I gotta enjoy the journey. I'm trying to move too fast and because of that, I'm not making smart business decisions.
All in all, pretty good day. I am curious as to how I'd respond to v2.3 -- REALLY miss the internal feeling. However, I'm going to push on with v2.4 until Shannon says he has enough data (or, unless the clearing gets to the short circuit point). Then, I might try v2.3 again... just curious.
