Achieving Nirvana w/ DMSI V2.4 5.5G - Rape Me, My Friends(I'm not the only one!)

[Shannon]

Didn't make it to the gym, it's a beautiful day here and I wanted to make it to the zoo with my son. The train only runs on the weekends now, and he loves it.

I also took him on the carousel, which is where I got my one and only IOI (that I noticed, and was blatant). A really good looking mom, with a great body, just kept looking at us. I even looked around me to see if there was someone else around to look at - there wasn't. When we got off, she was behind us, and went over to who I assume was her husband. Scruffy, out-of-shape dad-bod type. Maybe that's why she has The Wandering Eye.

I'm constantly analyzing my thought processes and personality for reasons I may be resisting the program, so I can jot it here. If it helps with program development, great. Anyway, I'm a perfectionist - but the kind that will do something only if I know I got it right before I get started. If I can't get it right, I won't do it at all. That's what makes me a good trainer. Every movement must be perfect, no sloppy form. Before I ever set foot in a gym years ago, I did everything to learn all I could so that I wouldn't look dumb in front of others. But that's just one example. It applies to all other areas of my life. I won't do this or that, unless I know what I'm doing, or unless I feel like it. If my mood sucks, I won't do something because I don't want my mood to screw it up. Anyway, I'd be better off if I wasn't so hard on myself and allowed mistakes as part of my learning process.

I also noticed that I'm growing impatient. Looking here, looking there, looking everywhere. Killing neediness and instilling an IDGAF attitude is one side of the coin. What about improving the ability to be patient? I once heard a phrase, "Infinite patience produces immediate results." I wonder if that would aid with the manifestation side of things.

Could it be that your perfections (read: insecurity - and I can say that because I'm a perfectionist!) is cock blocking you? Autopilot only works when you stop manually piloting the plane, you know.