09-28-2016, 11:59 AM
I ended up not meeting her again. I made no attempt whatsoever to do so. I tell myself that Idgaf, but is that 100% true? My SubC is notorious for fuqqing up golden opportunities. 
Talked with Leo, he suggested that I need to really be comfortable with the notion that sex and procreation are two sides of the same coin. And if the trauma from the past is still haunting me, it will hold me back. So it's possible I'm hiding behind the IDGAF, when really I'm a pussy when it comes to getting pussy. I'm not placing all my bets on this scenario, but it's possible. Ideally, I should be comfortable with the fact that my seed has the capability of producing offspring. That is it's design! But just because I had a trauma regarding the situation doesn't mean I should allow myself to hide. It's like sicko would say, experience and going further with her, despite the fear, will aggressively deal with the fear. I have a lot to learn.
In other news, I get onto the plane in 24 hours. Can't wait. 2 hot blondes coming to get me from the Houston airport (one of them is the FWB from my sm3 run, though our fwb was peacefully dissolved when I left to India). Let's see how the aura affects them
And everyone else I know in Houston, for that matter. Lol.
Additionally, I do believe my charisma really has increased, as alpha360 pointed out. I was talking in a group setting today, and felt my speaking was pretty charged with charisma. Loved it! Emotionally charged speech. I Bet the women would love it.
also, yesterday I conducted a presentation to 500 college first years, and I was ultimately charismatic then too! Yep, Eternitys_Child still has the gift of gab on the podium! It'd be nice if that gift was the same in 1 on 1 interactions
Talked with Leo, he suggested that I need to really be comfortable with the notion that sex and procreation are two sides of the same coin. And if the trauma from the past is still haunting me, it will hold me back. So it's possible I'm hiding behind the IDGAF, when really I'm a pussy when it comes to getting pussy. I'm not placing all my bets on this scenario, but it's possible. Ideally, I should be comfortable with the fact that my seed has the capability of producing offspring. That is it's design! But just because I had a trauma regarding the situation doesn't mean I should allow myself to hide. It's like sicko would say, experience and going further with her, despite the fear, will aggressively deal with the fear. I have a lot to learn.
In other news, I get onto the plane in 24 hours. Can't wait. 2 hot blondes coming to get me from the Houston airport (one of them is the FWB from my sm3 run, though our fwb was peacefully dissolved when I left to India). Let's see how the aura affects them
And everyone else I know in Houston, for that matter. Lol.
Additionally, I do believe my charisma really has increased, as alpha360 pointed out. I was talking in a group setting today, and felt my speaking was pretty charged with charisma. Loved it! Emotionally charged speech. I Bet the women would love it.
also, yesterday I conducted a presentation to 500 college first years, and I was ultimately charismatic then too! Yep, Eternitys_Child still has the gift of gab on the podium! It'd be nice if that gift was the same in 1 on 1 interactions
