09-27-2016, 05:43 AM
Day 4 of this depressive resistance. That "what's this all for" feeling. Feeling weak. "Beta." Like everyone's out to get me, like everyone's disrespecting me. Very, very low self-esteem. I think that's what the healing modules are working on. Self-esteem issues. Feeling like I should quit boxing because I'll never hang with the younger, testosterone filled guys. Like they're going to use me for target practice, joke and laugh at me after class. Just wanna get in bed, hide under the covers and sleep forever.
Really stupid shit, because I'm an excellent fighter once I learn the nuances. Since I'm not a "natural," it takes a bit for me to grasp the principles, then it's on.
Usually, I get the urge to switch to another sub, like AM6. This time, I'm getting the urge to quit subs all together.
But... I'm going to keep pushing on. I want all of this weakness gone.
Really stupid shit, because I'm an excellent fighter once I learn the nuances. Since I'm not a "natural," it takes a bit for me to grasp the principles, then it's on.
Usually, I get the urge to switch to another sub, like AM6. This time, I'm getting the urge to quit subs all together.
But... I'm going to keep pushing on. I want all of this weakness gone.
